How Should I Talk To My Teen About Drugs
Teens are likely to have peers who use alcohol or drugs, and to have friends who drive. Have conversations not only to understand your teens thoughts and feelings, but also to talk about the dangers of driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Talk about the legal issues jail time and fines and the possibility that they or someone else might be killed or seriously injured.
Consider making a written or verbal contract on the rules about going out or using the car. You can promise to pick your kids up at any time , no questions asked, if they call you when the person responsible for driving has been drinking or using drugs.
They may ask you more specific questions about drugs. By discussing this with your teen from the start, you can make your expectations clear and help them feel safe coming to you.
Can I Visit My Adult Child While They Are Receiving Drug Rehabilitation Treatment
During the initial drug detox period, which lasts between 4-7 days, you will only be able to contact your adult child with a counselor present to ensure your son or daughter stays on track and remains focused on getting well.
Recovery Centers of America provides a safe and welcoming environment that encourages family members to be on site at our treatment facilities and meet with our family therapists. During your adult childs inpatient treatment, you will be allowed to visit during specific visitation hours and are strongly encouraged to participate in family counseling and education sessions with your son or daughter while they are in treatment. Our focus is healing the entire family.
Enabling Behaviors Have To Stop Immediately
Your son loves you, but they are not in control of their behavior any longer. The addiction is what is running things for right now. That means your son is going to do things outside of what he usually does to feed his habit. He will use your love and sympathy, and sadly that needs to end. Enabling has to stop. That means that when he asks for money, as long as he is not in addiction treatment, you should not give it to him. He has to experience the consequences that you set up for him. While this may feel painful, this may be one of the ways to get through to him and help him overcome this addiction. Cutting off support may feel like the exact opposite of helping him. Any parent would feel like this, and it is normal. Think about it this way, however, by supporting him, giving him money, you are giving him the ability to buy more drugs. Is this what you want? By telling him you will support him, but only if he is in recovery, you can help enable healthy behaviors.
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Remember To Be Kind And Compassionate To Him And The Rest Of Your Family While You Go Through This Process
Often family members can get lost easiest in the hurt and anger that comes from addiction. This is also to be expected when it comes to dealing with substance use. Compassion and kindness will go a long way toward encouraging long-term relationships. Substance use and addiction are not always forever. People do recover. They also remember what is said and done while they were struggling with their addiction. Simple respect and kindness will go a long way when it comes to helping a family heal after drug addiction treatment.
How To Stop Enabling An Alcoholic Or Addict Son
Adults who are addicted to drugs or alcohol will normally look to their family for money to support their growing habit. Parents want to help their children, but helping your son financially during this period will not ultimately help him, you, or the rest of your family. Each time you give your son money or protect him from the consequences of his actions, you take away any reason he might have to actually change his behavior.
Once you begin to cut off financial support, you may see your son become aggressive toward you. For most addicts, this is just posturing. They will do anything they can to get the situation back to the status quo. But if you stand firm in your convictions, this will eventually change. Make sure that the rest of the family supports you and also holds back financial assistance or else the problem can continue. If you find it difficult to cut your son off right away, consider tapering off your financial support if he doesnt take steps to clean up his act.
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Can My Adult Child Die From Detoxification Or Rehabilitation Treatments
When performed under the proper supervision of medical professionals, drug detoxification is safe and effective procedure. During detoxification, drugs are eliminated a patients mind and body. Recovery Centers of America employs expert medical practitioners who oversee the detoxification process and ensure the treatment aligns with your son or daughters physical and psychological needs. The full detoxification process lasts approximately 4-7 days, and patients are under 24-hour supervision the whole time to ensure safety.
Unmedicated detoxification from the class of drugs known as benzodiazepines can cause seizures and other health complications that may result in death, so it is vital that detoxification from drugs is conducted under the care of medical professionals. Detoxing from any substance without professional help is dangerous and often ineffective at breaking the chain of addiction.
Garden State Treatment Center
We at Garden State Treatment Center understand how difficult it can be to set and maintain a strict set of rules while you watch your loved one struggle. Fortunately, our team of experienced therapists, counselors, and addiction specialists are available to help. We will help you take the steps you need to get help for your loved one in a safe and effective way.
24/7 Confidential Treatment Helpline
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Taking Care Of Yourself
Your loved ones recovery from drug addiction can be a long process and the negative impact on your own health, outlook, and well-being can multiply over time. Its important you maintain a balance in your life to avoid burnout from all the stress and frustration that comes from helping someone get clean.
Find support. Expressing what youre going through can be very cathartic, so look for support from trusted friends and family, or a peer support group for family members of drug addicts. Talking to others who are facing similar challenges can help you find comfort, reassurance, and new ways of coping.
Manage stress. The stress of witnessing someone you love battle addiction can take a heavy toll. You can reduce your stress levels by eating right, exercising regularly, sleeping well, and practicing a relaxation technique such as yoga, deep breathing, or meditation. Since stress levels can escalate when quitting drugs, you can even encourage your loved one to do the same.
Helplines and support
Support for sufferers of substance use disorders
In the U.S.: Call the SAMHSA helpline at 1-800-662-4357.
Canada: Download the PDF Finding Quality Addiction Care from the Canadian Centre on Substance Use and Addiction.
Australia: Find support or call the Alcohol and Drug Foundation helpline at 1800 250 015.
Support for families and loved ones
Group and 12-step programs for your loved one
Tip #: Dont Forget To Love Yourself
The final tip is incredibly important as it encompasses a lot of what weve already gone over.
You should not be bearing the entire weight of your childs addiction to the point that you are unhappy in your own life. You can only do so much.
Take some time to appreciate what youve done and continue to do for them even when theyre turning it down.
Your life changes in an instant when your child first comes into your life, and that never ends no matter what age your child is. However, when your child grows out of that adolescent age and becomes an adult, your roles and responsibilities lessen and evolve.
Loving yourself essentially means youre drawing your boundaries, accepting your limits, and keeping yourself healthy in a difficult situation.
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How Do I Know If My Adult Child Really Needs Rehabilitation
Identifying the stages of addiction is often difficult, but you should have a direct conversation with your son or daughter at the first signs of drug use. If you feel unsure about how to approach and talk to your child about drug addiction, Recovery Centers of America offers free resources to help you start the conversation. If you even suspect your son or daughters drug use is habitual or addictive, it is best to consult a licensed professional for assistance. If you have any suspicion that your adult child is addicted to drugs, it should be taken seriously and you should make every effort to get your son or daughter into drug rehabilitation treatment.
If youre struggling with getting your son or daughter to enter a treatment program, an intervention may be just the thing they need to get motivated to go. In fact, according to the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence over 90% of all interventions done with an interventionist result in the addicted party checking themselves into rehab.
Professional interventionists at Recovery Centers of America will help you set up an intervention and guide your adult son or daughter into a nearby inpatient treatment facility.
Encourage Positive Behaviors And Treatment
When there is too much focus on the mistakes and poor decision-making of the child, they will have diminished confidence, lower self-esteem, and a decreased sense of personal power. These effects can lead to continued substance use. Instead, emphasize the positives and encourage desirable behaviors.
Using encouragement and optimism builds a sense of teamwork and cooperation while reducing conflict and negativity. This style will enable them to:
- Try new healthy coping skills.
- Engage in new activities.
- Build more appropriate peer relationships.
- Face challenges.
Focus on 3 Positive Messages
Encouragement is not based on comparing your child to others, solving their problems for them, or focusing on past failures. Instead, according to NIDA, they focus on three positive messages:
- You can do it. Example: You can be successful. I believe it you.
- You have good ideas. Example: You are smart and capable. How can I assist you?
- You are important. Example: I value you and need you in my life.
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How To Help The Family Of My Addicted Son
If and when your son sobers up, there will be an aftermath to deal with. Depending on how severe the addiction is, he may not be able to support his family or take care of his children, and this is where you can make a difference.
Instead of helping your son financially, use your resources to get addiction help for his family, including a spouse and children. If problems in the home make it dangerous for your grandchildren, call the state authorities to deal with the situation. Your son will be angry now, but when he comes clean he will thank you for keeping his family safe.
Did You Know?
According to the University of Utahs Genetic Science Learning Center, only 10% of people who are mentally stable are addicted to drugs, compared to:
- 46% of schizophrenics
- 27% of people suffering from major depressive disorder
- 61% of people diagnosed with bipolar I disorder
Keeping The Lines Of Communication Open
It is vital that your son knows they can come to you to talk about theiraddiction. If they are talking to you, you can still help them. Keeping the lines of communication open is the difference between your son going missing for a week at a time, and your son being able to talk to you about his problems. This can be difficult because you will hear things you dont want to know about, but its either that or losing him completely,
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Get Help For Yourself
First and foremost, get help for yourself. After all, addiction is a family disease.
As parents, we are role models, and we can pave the way. This pattern doesnt end when our children reach adulthood. Even then, our actions continue to influence our children.
We can remain the calm amid the storm.
Elaine agreed to share her story here as an example.
Her young adult son struggled with a substance use disorder that wreaked havoc on the family. When he would join Elaine for family gatherings, the evenings would often end in rages, arguments, and slammed doors.
After six months of this insanity, Elaine reached out for help when she found morphine in the car she had purchased for her son. Initially, she reacted with disbelief. Her son had done well in school and had just gotten his first job out of college. Lately, though, his behavior had become disruptive and he had started missing work.
She contacted a treatment center and started attending Al-anon, a 12-step program for family members and loved ones of addicts.
As Elaine educated herself about addiction, she learned how to set boundaries. She stopped yelling at her son. She gathered a team for support.
Elaine learned no amount of yelling or lectures would stop her sons drug use if he had a substance use disorder.
Her son was eventually pulled over for a DUI in the vehicle he had been forbidden from driving. Finally, he agreed to treatment.
Guide For Children Of Addicted Parents
Regardless of our age, we are always deeply influenced by the people who raise us. These influences include not only the genes inherited from biological parents, but also the behaviors, habits, values, and communication styles that we learn from our adult caregivers. This same pattern applies to the way we use alcohol or drugs. The National Institute on Drug Abuse estimates that 25 percent of American kids grow up in households where substance abuse is present. In homes where one or more adults abuse alcohol or drugs, children are approximately twice as likely to develop addictive disorders themselves, according to Current Drug Abuse Reviews. These children are also more likely to experience:
- Poor performance in school
- A higher risk of physical, verbal, or sexual abuse
- A higher risk of developing anxiety or depression
- Earlier onset of experimentation with drugs or alcohol
- A greater chance of becoming addicted once they start using drugs or alcohol
On a positive note, children can have a powerful impact on the adults in their lives if they have access to the right resources and support services. Learning about these support systems, and how to use them to get help for addicted parents, can change the course of a childs future and may help a parent begin the recovery process.
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Do I Need Health Insurance To Receive This Service
The referral service is free of charge. If you have no insurance or are underinsured, we will refer you to your state office, which is responsible for state-funded treatment programs. In addition, we can often refer you to facilities that charge on a sliding fee scale or accept Medicare or Medicaid. If you have health insurance, you are encouraged to contact your insurer for a list of participating health care providers and facilities.
What Age Is He
If you are dealing with a drug or alcohol addicted son that is underage for drinking, then going to the GP is your first point of call. The GP can advise him on all the ways that the alcohol is having a negative effect on his body. They will be able to talk him through all the elements of addiction, what it looks like and how he can avoid it. The GP will also be able to point you in the direction of getting further help.
If your addicted son is a fully grown adult, then you can still help him. If he doesnt live with you, inviting him home while he goes throughoutpatient rehab could be the way to reach him. Be careful that your behaviour isnt enabling him to use more, but that it is supportive, instead.
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Is It Time To Let Go Of My Addicted Son
You have probably tried everything you can to help your child, but he continues to use substances and engage in negative behaviors. Letting go can feel like abandoning your son in his time of need, but sometimes it is the best thing you can do for your children, your family and yourself. Leaving your son without a safety net is hard for any parent, especially when he is engaged in destructive and dangerous behaviors.
At the same time, always being there to save your adult child or tell him what to do reinforces the message that he is helpless and cant take on the consequences of his actions. Your son is ultimately the one who must want to get clean and sober. Despite your many pleas, arguments, and ultimatums, you can not force him to recover. So when and why might a parent choose to let go of their drug addict son? Well, it depends on each person and their specific situation, but some reasons include the following:
- Your sons behavior poses a threat to you or your loved ones
- Attempts to help your son have put your life or the lives of others in danger
- Your financial stability is being threatened because of your repeated attempts to help your son
- You or your loved ones are experiencing physical or mental health challenges as a result of your sons addiction. These include depression, anxiety, rage, or other issues