Dont: Shame Or Criticize
Human nature sometimes forces us to shift the blame because its easier to understand a problem if we know its source. But the cause of addictions isnt so black and white, so theres never really just one thing to blame. Most importantly, the person with the addiction is not at fault for the disease.
Avoid implying or outright stating that your loved one is to blame for their addiction. Shaming or criticizing a family member who is struggling with an Alcohol Addiction or an Opioid Addiction is often counterproductive to their Recovery. While tough love may have a small part in helping an alcoholic spouse, this is not the place for it.
Part of practicing compassion for your loved one involves understanding that shaming your loved one may do them more harm than good. Instead, talk with positivity and encouragement, offering the idea of a future of successful long-term Recovery. Provide verbal and physical encouragement rather than lectures or nagging.
Can You Make Someone Go To Rehab
Theother option, if the need is truly dire, is involuntary commitment or courtordered rehab. Some people believe that court ordered rehab is ineffectivebecause they have to want it, but that isnt necessarily true. Like any rehabpatient, even one who entered involuntarily and completes a treatment programis more likely to break their addiction. Of course, its easier when your lovedone wants to get better, but it doesnt make it impossible if they dont.
Court ordered rehab varies by state, and often depends on crime. It is important to do your research before pursuing this option, but know that it is available, and can be successful, too.
Help For You As A Carer
Caring for a partner, family member or friend who has a drug abuse problem can leave you feeling isolated and alone. It may be hard to talk to others about your situation, particularly if they haven’t had the same experience as you.
There are local and national organisations that support the families and carers of people who use drugs. Many carers find it helpful to talk to others in the same situation, perhaps at a local carers’ support group.
Alternatively, online forums can provide an opportunity to share your experiences. You can find information, contacts or counselling services by going to the Department of Healthâs Drug Help website.
Read Also: How To Help An Addict In Denial
Need To Get Someone Into Rehab
If your loved one says yes to getting help, have a space waiting at an inpatient drug treatment center. Arrangements should be made for immediate transportation and admission, so you dont have to stop to figure out how to check someone into rehab at the last minute. This is a situation where you want to have all the details arranged in advance so that you can get your loved one the help they need right away.
JourneyPure at the River can provide the type of inpatient/residential treatment program families need when looking for help for a loved one struggling with addiction. We also offer a medically-supervised detox program. Call us now to learn more about how we can help.
Do: Seek Counseling Or Therapy
Addiction affects everyone, from the person in treatment to their loved ones. Its important to ensure youre well enough to manage the potential stress of helping someone dealing with addiction. Acknowledging that you may be in over your head and in need of professional help is normal and healthy. Its also necessary for you to help your loved one to the best of your abilities.
Recommended Reading: Where To Buy Brooks Addiction Shoes
Do: Take Care Of Yourself
Indulging in self-care is not selfish, especially when youre helping someone dealing with addiction. You cannot let the addiction of your loved one derail your own life. Continue with healthy activities, like hobbies and social outings, and take care to look after yourself. Therapy or counseling is part of that process, but indulging in activities that arent centered around your loved one is necessary. Determine what it is that you need to keep yourself well and indulge in it.
Admit The Individual To Treatment Immediately
Research has shown that getting a person into treatment as soon as willingness is expressed is vital to encouraging a positive start to and outcome of the treatment process. For this reason, having treatment readily available as soon as the person is willing to enter is considered to be one of NIDAs Principles of Effective Treatment.
For this reason, getting a treatment program lined up to accept the loved one immediately is an essential element of the planning process before the conversation is started. Selecting a treatment center can involve a good deal of research, using what family and friends have learned about addiction and treatment as a starting point to finding the program. The professionals who work in research-based, certified treatment programs can provide a great deal of support throughout the process of trying to convince the loved one that treatment is needed, and they can help determine the most appropriate level of care for the individual. They can also help plan for immediate admission to the program as soon as the individual accepts that help is needed.
You May Like: Is Drug Addiction Grounds For Divorce
Examples Of Boundaries Around Substance Abuse
Write up your house rules and healthy boundaries and have your child sign it. Families struggling with addiction often have unhealthy ways of relating to each other. That can include having troubles with codependency and boundaries. Boundaries are different for everyone, but some common ones include:
- No use of drugs or alcohol inside or outside the home.
- No stealing money or items from your home to sell.
- You will not make excuses for them if they miss work, college, or other obligations.
- You will not bail them out if they get a DUI or get into other trouble with the law.
- You will not make excuses for them if they miss social or family obligations.
- You will not help pay for phone bills, gas, or car payments if theyre using these things to obtain drugs.
- If you discover them using drugs or alcohol in the house, they need to find somewhere else to live unless they get treatment to stay sober.
- Your child will attend individual therapy, a support group, and/or family therapy or you will not allow them to live at home or help pay any bills.
During this conversation, it is also important to make it clear what the consequences will be if they decide to drink or use drugs anyway. Some form of consequence is necessary, just as it would be if they repeatedly made choices that put themselves and others in danger.
Create Specific Healthy Boundaries
The healthiest, most important decisions you can make about a loved ones addiction are about yourself.
Healthy boundaries are possible even when our loved ones arent healthy. Boundaries help to bring a measure of sanity and control into our lives, even when addiction creates chaos. Without them, you lose yourself, your freedom and your personal space compromising what makes you, you.
Setting limits isnt about the addicted person its about you. The boundaries you establish need to directly reduce the amount of stress and chaos you experience due to their drug or alcohol use. For a great list of some of the most important boundaries to set with an addicted loved one, check out this article.
In creating healthy boundaries, its crucial to be specific about what you will and will not do. Make your intentions clear to both yourself and your loved one, without making idle threats.
Recommended Reading: Who Is An Addict Na
Stan Popovich Lists A Six
Many people who struggle with alcohol or drugs have a difficult time getting better. There are many reasons why these people do not get the help they need to get better. Many family members who see their loved ones struggle have a very difficult time in getting their loved ones assistance. Here are six suggestions on how to convince a person struggling with alcohol or drugs to get the help they need to get better.
1. Family InterventionThe most popular way to get someone the help they need is to do a family intervention. This is when family members and an interventionist get together with the addict to tell them how they love them and wish that they get help to get better. Each family member takes a turn and tells the person how special they are and that they need to get help. The person who is struggling listens and hopefully they become convinced to get the help they need.
3. Use The Services of A Professional Or A Former AddictTry to find a professional or even a former addict who has Been There to talk to the person. This is similar to Step Two, however instead of warning the person, these professionals can use their skills to talk and try to reason with the person. These experts are usually trained and can use a proactive approach into trying to convince the addict to get help. The goal is to try to reason and talk with the person so they can get professional help.
Read more on Health and Addiction
Image Credit: Robson#/Flickr
Can You Force Someone To Go To Rehab
If your loved one does not want to listen, or is not ready to stop using, there are still steps you can take to get them the help they need. If you are a parent of an addicted adolescent, you can enroll your child in a rehab program against his or her will. If your loved one is in trouble with the law, or poses imminent danger, he or she can be legally forced into treatment without consent via court-ordered rehab, or involuntary commitment. Involuntary substance use treatment is allowed in 38 states today.
Even if your loved one does not want to get help, he or she can still benefit from it. It is a common myth that, in order to get sober, addicts have to want it. The truth is, at first, many individuals entering treatment dont want it. They are hesitant, distant, skeptical. However, over time, their walls break down. In fact, those who are forced into rehab have remarkably similar success rates to those who enter rehab voluntarily.
Before forcing your loved one into rehab, or researching involuntary methods of enrollment, try to have a conversation with your loved one. Try convincing her/him of the dangers of drug abuse, and the benefits of professional treatment. It is always best to establish trust, empathy, and support when possible, in order to effective help a person into drug rehab.
You May Like: Is Caffeine The Most Addictive Drug
Choose A Spokesperson Ahead Of Time
It is a good idea to have a spokesperson, such as the interventionist or another professional, to run the intervention. This way, the person who is struggling with addiction does not feel like they are being ganged up on by their loved ones.
The spokesperson will run the intervention, introduce speakers, and allow the person to respond at the appropriate time. They can also help to manage volatile emotions and keep the event from going off track.
How To Convince An Addict To Get Help
In the end, its important not to give up on your loved one. Even if you hold an intervention and it fails. Continue to support and encourage your loved one to seek help. Continue to educate yourself on the options for substance abuse treatment so that you can meet their objections. One of the most common types of treatment is behavioral therapy and psychoanalysis. You can get these treatments without enrolling in a rehab center. Sometimes the biggest objection of an addicted person is not wanting to upend their life in order to enter treatment. Attending therapy sessions with a skilled counselor is a way to get around that. Discovering and treating the underlying causes for a substance disorder is the best way to overcome it.
Doctor Howard Samuels is an Addiction Therapist in Los Angeles who specializes in psychotherapy for substance abuse disorders. Get in touch with him today to find out more about how therapy can help.
Get An Expert Involved In The Process
Before performing the intervention, the group should speak with an expert. This could be an addiction therapist or a professional interventionist who assists in the planning and implementation of interventions. The professional can offer important information and options that can increase the potential for success.
In many cases, the interventionist will run the actual event. This can help to keep things on track, manage emotions that can spike during the meeting, and raise the chances of the person committing to treatment.
When A Person Has Been To Rehab And Then Failed
It can be very tough for a person when he goes to rehab really wanting to get clean and then fails afterward. His guilt may double because his family already supported him and invested in him and he failed them as well as himself.
The answer to this one is a rehab where an individual will address all aspects of addiction and have a real chance at long-term sobriety. The Narconon program is built on a philosophy of repairing the damage done by drug abuse and then teaching a person how to maintain a sober life when they go home. The specific points that could lead a person back into drug abuse are covered in a comprehensive series of life skills courses.
When a family talks with an addictive loved one about rehab, very often the innovative nature of the Narconon program is enough for them all to see that this time, it can be different. Both the addicted person and the family often see that The Narconon New Life Detoxification, a deep detox utilizing a sauna, exercise, and nutritional supplements, offers a person an advantage they cant get anywhere else. Many people say that this phase of the recovery program greatly helps with cravings, one of the biggest barriers to lasting sobriety.
Talk To The Person About What Will Happen If They Do Not Get Help
Another way to convince the person who is struggling with alcohol or drugs is to get someone who is an expert on addiction and have them do a one-on-one talk with this person. This expert on addiction should explain to the addict what will happen if they do not get the help they need to get better. Basically, the expert should warn the person of the dire consequences of what will happen if they do not change their ways. The expert should be as vivid as possible and hold nothing back. The goal is to convince the person to get help or they will suffer and eventually, their life will slowly come to an end.
Can You Force Someone Into Treatment Successfully
In the United States, 37 states along with the District of Columbia have regulations that allow for involuntary commitment to addiction treatment facilities. These regulations were established for parents whose children were facing a substance use disorder and refusing to get help for it. Parents wanted to find out how to involuntarily commit someone to a drug treatment facility, and the National Alliance for Model State Drug Laws established strict stipulations for involuntary commitment.
If you figure out how to get someone in treatment that doesnt want to go, it doesnt mean you should force them to get help. The Massachusetts Department of Public Health researched the effects of forced recovery and found that people involuntarily committed into a treatment facility were twice as likely to die from an overdose than those who consented to enter treatment. Another similar study found that the long-term recovery outcomes for people who were forced into getting help werent any better or worse than those who chose professional addiction treatment of their own free will.
In general, its usually better if a person chooses to get help rather than if theyre forced into it. Resentment and an unwillingness to complete recovery are potential risks of forced treatment. People are more likely to take their recovery process more seriously if they truly want to become sober.
Recommended Reading: How To Know If Your Addicted To Nicotine
Dont: Give In To Manipulation
When a person with an addiction is unwilling to seek treatment, they will resort to whatever they need to do to continue feeding their addiction. This may include lying or trying to guilt the people who care for them. Its important to establish boundaries and learn how to say no. It may be very difficult to not react negatively or to stick to your established rules, but its necessary for everyone involved.
Find Out The Reasons Why The Person Wont Get Help
Many people overlook this suggestion. Ask the person who is struggling with alcohol or drugs to list 3 reasons why they will not get help. At first, they will say all kinds of things, but continue to engage the person and get the 3 main reasons why they refuse to get help. It might take a couple of tries but listen to what they say. Once you get the answers, WRITE them down on a piece of paper. Note: Fear and Frustration are huge factors for the person not getting help.
You May Like: How To Get Away From Sugar Addiction
Convincing An Alcohol Addict To Get Treatment
Alcohol is an addictive and seductive drug. It alters the addicts way of thinking and behaving. Many people fall into the trap of alcoholism without realizing. The drug transforms even the kindest people into bad characters without warning or permission. Such people consume excessive amounts of alcohol on a regular basis and behave as if they have no problem. This denial is an obstacle when trying to convince the addict that he has a problem that needs treatment. This article explores some of the must-read effective tips on how to convince an addict to get alcohol treatment.