Dont Try To Have All The Answers
Im going to have some tough questions. Addiction is this terrifying thing, and it has wormed its way into who I believe I am, however distorted by Satan. I might question God. I might be angry. I might be confused. I might wonder who I truly am.
Please know that you dont have to have the answers. Its not your job to know everything. In fact it is completely fine that you dont have all the answers. A lot of the time, I just need to talk. I need someone to listen and cry with me. Its ok if you dont get it. Its totally fine if you are just as confused as I am.
If I try to demand answers that you dont have, dont feel guilty about pointing me to my counselor, pastor, or parent. Its their job to guide me through this road called recovery. Its your job to walk hand in hand with me. This is not to say I dont value your opinion, however. If God has placed something on your heart, dont be afraid to share it.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
You Cant Fix Me But You Can Be A Part Of My Journey
This is important. It is NOT your job to fix me. It is not your job to answer my questions, know what to do, or save me from my addiction. If I demand that from you, or inadvertently expect you to do any of those things, dont be afraid to point me to the people who are supposed to help me in those ways.
One of the most valuable things a friend can say to another friend is, I dont have the ability to help you the way you need, but I would love to help you find someone who can. Its easy for me to get dependent on the wrong things and the wrong people, and sometimes I need a gentle reminder of who I actually need to depend on: God.
You are part of my journey to healing. You are my friend, my encourager, and my challenger. Thank you for all that you do. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for always pointing me to God. Thank you for wanting me to recover. Thank you for praying.
Bear one anothers burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
There are quite a few suggested resources in this article, but I highly recommend checking out www.breakingfreeindeed.org , a ministry run by two fellow rebelutionaries. Theyve written articles and testimonies addressing sexual sin on their blog, and they would be happy to talk with, pray for, and encourage you on your own journey towards freedom.
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What Is A Sex Addict
For some people, sex addiction can be extremely dangerous and can result in considerable difficulties with relationships.
Just like someone with drug or alcohol dependence, there is the potential for a negative impact to occur within a persons physical, mental, and personal relationships and well-being.
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Get In Touch With Us Today To Begin The Journey To Recovery
Even though finding out youre in a relationship with a sex addict can be devastating, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. By seeking treatment, the sex addict can learn healthier coping mechanisms and begin to leave the compulsive behavior behind.
If you or someone you love is suffering from this condition, get in touch with our qualified professionals at Trafalgar Addiction Treatment Centres today.
Prognosis Of Sex Addiction Treatment
Therapy for sex addiction differs from the treatment of other addictions in that complete abstinence is not the goal, as it often is with, for example, drug and alcohol addictions. Instead, the person in therapy will generally work with the therapist to identify specific behaviors they want to quit. For example, a person may set a goal to stop soliciting sex from strangers and to only be intimate with people they know personally. A therapist can help the person identify potential triggers that may facilitate addictive behavior and develop a plan to avoid these danger zones.
The success of sexual addiction treatment can depend on several factors, including:
- Which behaviors the person is trying to quit.
- Whether the person has a history of sex offenses.
- Whether the person has an additional mental health diagnosis.
In general, treatment works best when the individual wants improvement for themselves, as opposed to receiving outside pressure to get help.
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How Might I Know If I Have A Sexual Addiction
Does your sexual behavior cause you distress or interfere with important areas of functioning? Do you:
- Lose sleep due to sexual thoughts or actions?
- Arrive late to work?
- Ignore obligations?
- Lie or keep secrets from family?
- Need more or more extreme sexual activities to achieve the same level of excitement or sexual relief?
- Does your sexual desire cause you to do sexual activities that involve people or places you wouldnt ordinarily choose?
- Does your sexual behavior cause you or could cause you legal problems or financial loss?
- Do your sexual fantasies, urges or behaviors consume you mentally, emotionally and/or physically?
- Does your sexual behavior conflict with your personal values, religious or moral beliefs?
- Do you feel shame, regret, hopelessness, guilt, loneliness or suicidal after your sexual behavior?
If you answer YES to any of these questions, you may want to make an appointment with your healthcare provider. They might refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist for additional help. If you have suicidal thoughts, call your healthcare provider right away or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1.800.273.TALK .
Options For Your Partner With A Sex Addiction
Even if you decide to stay or leave your partner with sex addiction there are some options to help your partner especially when youve tried everything else.
Your partner with a sex addiction can explore both our residential and virtual treatment options to receive a specialized and unique sex and love treatment program that will also offer partner support therapy which can help you heal as the spouse of sex addiction.
Keep reading to explore the options offered at Trafalgar.
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Understanding Sex Addiction Help For Partners
It may have happened in a flash. You picked up your partners iPhone only to discover a torrent of sexually suggestive emails and chats. In the first moment you are not sure what you have seen. Is this, you ask yourself. A moment later it starts to sink in and you realize this is something more. Your heart is shattered by what you have found. You might feel as if you are no longer in your body.
You may have suspected that your spouse had a problem. You may have known parts of it before this moment. But finally you cant take it anymore and you realize the extent of the betrayal. You are feeling heartbroken, defeated, and hopeless.
These are just some of the ways that sex addiction can shatter a partners heart and their very reality. If you are a partner you can feel so overwhelmed that you may feel nothing at all, so devastated you cant even move, or anywhere in between.
If you have recently discovered that someone you love is struggling with sex addiction, you most likely are in a lot of pain and hurt. It is important to understand that this is not about you. Sex addicts are very good at hiding their behavior and the deception can be quite complete. You can feel overwhelmed by shame and fear, wondering how you could not have seen it. You most likely are filled with all kinds of questions and thoughts.
Understanding Sex Addiction
I Am Not My Addiction
Honestly, I may not even know this at times, but it is true because God says that it is true. I am His, For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight . Please be the one to see that purpose in me and continue to acknowledge all the unique parts of me.
There will come periods where it might seem like I am obsessed with this fight. There are going to be moments where I will be exhausted by the struggle. There will be times where I just need a glimpse of normalcy like a shopping trip, a concert, a basketball game, a walk, or a laugh. I need to know that I am not my addiction, and you can remind me of that by doing normal things with me, talking about normal things with me, and just being my friend.
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Replace Sexual Behaviours With Healthy Energy Outlets
Next on tips for sex addiction treatment pick up a new hobby. When you stop carrying out addictive sexual activities, you may find yourself with excess energy. It may help if you tried healthy activities such as exercise or other recreation.
If one activity is not stimulating enough, you can combine several or otherwise find another activity. Aside from acting as an energy outlet for you, these hobbies can also be a distraction for you.
Causes Of Sex Addiction
A combination of biological and physiological factors could cause a person to develop sex addiction. However, there is no single cause for it. Some research points at a chemical imbalance in the brain being the cause of sex addiction. But, there isnt enough evidence to conclude that this could be a definite cause.
Certain medications like those used in the treatment of Parkinsons disease have been linked to the development of compulsive sexual behaviors.
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Sexual Addiction Background Information
Psychologists place unusual sexual behavior into one of two categories: Paraphilic and non-paraphilic.
Paraphilic behaviors are outside of what is considered normal by most of society. There is a large subset of these activities, but those recognized by the American Psychiatric Manual of Mental Disorders include fetishism, voyeurism, sexual masochism and sadism, pedophilia, and frotteurism. To be classified as a disorder, the sexual addicts need to experience sexual pleasure must cause significant problems with their daily life, either legally, socially, economically, or mentally.
Non-paraphilic behaviors include more common sexual practices, such as prostitution, strip clubs, extramarital affairs, and masturbation. However, as with the paraphilic activities, the sex addict engages in them to the detriment of their everyday life.
Punitive legal measures are applied to any sexual activity that is performed without consent upon another individual. Penalties range from years in prison to enforced castration.
- Most states stipulate an age of consent, which can range from 14 to 18, for sexual activities.
- The federal government has mandatory minimum penalties for sex offenses.
- Sex offenders are required to register their residence with governmental authorities.
Other terms used for sexual addictions
- Hypersexual disorder
Best First Steps To Take To Overcome Your Sexual Addiction
Do you feel eager to reach sexual addiction recovery? If so, there are steps you can take that may lead to a successful outcome. First, it’s important to understand that this isn’t just a matter of “trying harder” or “being stronger.” Sexual addiction is a complex disorder that requires a multifaceted approach and support along the way. This leads us to our first tip to overcome sexual addiction acknowledge the problem.
The first step toward recovery from any addiction is admitting you have a problem. Why? If you don’t think you have a problem, you’re not likely to take steps to fix it. Once you acknowledge you have a problem, the work to heal and recover can begin. So, step one, there you have it. Remember taking the first step is worth celebrating there’s a reason why people say it’s the hardest step to take.
Once your desire for freedom and recovery is alive within, you’re ready for step two. Next is to decide what kind of treatment you want. There are several different types of treatments available. Examples include individual counseling, group counseling, 12-step programs, holistic therapies, and medications.
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Coping With Sex Addiction
The first step to coping with sex addiction is admitting to yourself that you have a problem. Because sex addiction isnt a recognized mental health condition, it can be difficult to diagnose. Its symptoms can also seem less apparent than other mental health conditions. If any of the signs of the condition listed above resonate with you or someone you know, its essential to consult a healthcare professional and get a definite diagnosis.
Other things that could help you cope with this condition include:
- Joining a support group: If you or someone you know lives with sex addiction, joining a support group like Sex Addicts Anonymous can be of immense help. Seeing and speaking to other people who also have this condition can help you feel less shame or embarrassment about having the condition.
- Get rid of your triggers: If you have a stash of pornographic content or any other triggers that cause you to engage in compulsive sexual behaviors, it can be helpful to remove them from your home
- Find healthy distractions: Find a healthy distraction that you can engage in whenever you get the urge to engage in a sexual act. This could be exercising or meditating.
Signs Of Sex Addiction
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders , which defines and categorizes mental health conditions, doesnt list sex addiction as a mental condition. As a result, signs and symptoms of sex addiction could be challenging to highlight.
Some of the most common indicators that you might have sex addiction include:
- Being unable to stop yourself from engaging in certain sexual behaviors
- Becoming distressed when you are prevented from engaging in sexual activities and behaviors
- Neglecting essential aspects of your life, such as work and personal relationships, to engage in sexual activities and behaviors
- Engaging in risky sexual activities like having sex in public
- Continuing to engage in risky sexual behavior at the expense of your physical and mental health
- Masturbating compulsively and frequently
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Supporting Your Loved One In Sex Addiction Recovery
One of the biggest questions families ask when their loved one is seeking recovery from sex addiction is, How do I help? The answer depends on where the person is in their process of understanding and coming to terms with their addiction. But, there are a few general answers that can help guide families in the right direction.
The Basic Of Sexual Addiction Rehabilitation
This guide was written to provide an overview of the sexual addiction rehabilitation process, as well as to offer helpful resources for persons recovering from sexual addiction.
Treatment facilities provide hypersexual individuals with a safe, private place to confront their addiction. Intake usually begins with a comprehensive assessment that looks at past history of sexual trauma and types of substance abuse. Other common intake procedures include:
- Physical exam
- Spiritual assessment
- Relationship reviews
Some clinics may use pharmaceuticals to help in the treatment of sexual addiction. However, the most commonly approved solutions are types of therapy, specifically Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Motivational Enhancement Therapy. Integrated 12-step programs and outpatient support groups help prevent relapse in successfully treated clients.
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Living With A Sex Addict In A Relationship: Can It Work
Sex addiction is not formally listed in the DSM , but it is nevertheless considered to be a serious condition by many in the field. The World Health Organisation has recognised compulsive sexual behaviour as a mental disorder, and sex addicts do display compulsive behaviours.
For many, the difficulty of defining it as well as various cultural sensitivities act as barriers which prevent agreement on what constitutes the condition. In terms of basic human experience, however, sex addiction has real and dramatic effects on those it affects, including people living with a sex addict in a relationship.
Female Sex Addict Definition
Female sex addiction is much more than a woman who enjoys and has a lot of sex. Female sex addicts will find themselves obsessing over and engaging in compulsive sex to achieve afix, similar to the feeling an alcoholic gets from having a drink.
For women, compulsive sexual behaviour is often about control, power, attention, or seeking more intimacy. However, men often have very little emotional involvement when it comes to sexual acts. In fact, its often used to avoid intimacy.
At the core, female and male sex addiction is the same. Regardless of gender, the person experiencing it obsesses over sex and fantasies, engages in dangerous and destructive sexual acts, may experience a decline in their physical and mental health, and is unable to stop despite the consequences it has on their personal or professional life.
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Sex Addiction And Mental Health Disorders
There seems to be a high correlation between sex addiction and psychiatric conditions, particularly mood, anxiety and personality disorders.
- According to some research, around 40% of individuals struggling with a sexual addiction or compulsion also have a history of mood disorders such as depression.
- The correlation between depression and sex addiction is one of the reasons that antidepressants can be useful when treating sex addiction.
Clinical depression, which is often co-occurring with sex addiction, is a serious mental health illness that, if left untreated, can be life-threatening. Typical symptoms include:
- Persistent sad, anxious, or empty mood.
- Feelings of hopelessness.
- Sleeping too much or too little.
- Restlessness, irritability.
- Suicide thoughts or attempts.
Again, if you are a sex addict and believe that you suffer from depression, contact your medical provider immediately. It is pertinent that your treatment plan addresses both your depression and sex addiction.