They Would Want To Have You Do Drugs With Them
It is either you are with them or not. But it is always a difficult choice. Because you are trying to help them, you wouldnt consider it such a bad idea to have a feel of the drugs. You would think, well it will have an impression on them since you are doing something for them, why shouldnt they do something for you. You just want them to feel a sense of security when they are around you, and perhaps doing drugs with them will restore the confidence they have in you.
Dealing With A Serial Cheater
When one partner cheats, the other person often feels alone and a little hopeless, but you need to keep in mind that it isnt your fault. Your partner might stray because of insecurities. Cheating treatment facilities offer counseling sessions that can help you take steps toward your new life.
As you meet with your counselor, you can decide if you want to salvage your relationship and move forward together, take a short break from your addictive partner, or let go completely in order to find healing in your life.
Cheating recovery programs can also offer support for those dealing with a sexual addiction. Through family sessions and couples counseling, youll learn that the cheating is a sign of a larger problem that you can overcome together.
When you decide to take that step forward, call us to find cheating recovery centers for you or your partner.
Reasons Why Husbands Cheat On The Perfect Wife
Psychologists offer many answers to this question, some of which may surprise you.
Weve heard it from friends and loved ones: a loving wife, who has done everything perfectly cannot understand why her husband has cheated. She feels she has done everything right, considered her husbands needs and placed them even before herself. Perhaps she gave up her career opportunities in order to support him and to care for the family. And truly, it IS hard to imagine why a husband would cheat on the perfect wife. This perfect wife may possess admirable characteristics that many in her life admire – including you. So why then do husbands cheat on the perfect wife?
Psychologists offer many answers to this question, some of which may surprise you. Here are just a few reasons why husbands may be unfaithful to a devoted spouse .
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Coping With Infidelity And Substance Abuse
If someone finds out that their significant other is committing infidelity, they can experience a surge of painful emotions. The loss of how they formerly perceived their partner can be upsetting. Feelings of anger often arise. The individual whos been cheated on may feel they are unworthy of monogamy. These feelings can be taken as a sign of self-worth and internalized. The victim of infidelity may develop anxiety as they question where it all went wrong. They may also develop depression as painful emotions resurface.
In response, someone can choose to cope with these emotions through the use of alcohol or other harmful substances that seem to provide temporary joys, highs, or distractions. Once that substance wears off, the individual in pain may continue using it as a crutch. Eventually, continued use of a substance to cope can encourage a tolerance, dependence, or addiction.
Overview Of Alimony In Pennsylvania
Alimony is financial support paid by one spouse to the other during or after a divorce. The purpose of alimony is to help a low-earning spouse meet reasonable needs while the divorce is pending and, if necessary, for a period after the court finalizes the divorce.
During a marriage, particularly a long marriage, one spouse may become financially dependent on the other. Judges do not automatically award alimony to a financially dependent spouse under Pennsylvania law. Instead, courts reserve alimony for cases where it is necessary. In determining whether alimony is needed, Pennsylvania courts consider many factors, including:
- each spouse’s income and earning potential
- age, physical health, and mental health of each spouse
- all sources of income for each spouse, including retirement, disability, insurance, and other benefits
- each spouse’s potential inheritance
- the assets and liabilities of each spouse
- a spouse’s contribution as a homemaker
- each spouse’s financial needs, and
- misconduct of either spouse during the marriage.
Alimony in Pennsylvania may be “periodic,” that is, payments made monthly or annually, or alimony may be lump-sum, which is usually a one-time payment. Periodic alimony payments typically end when either spouse dies, or the supported spouse gets remarried. Courts may also award alimony for a specific period of time, such as a number of years, months, or until the supported spouse gains employment.
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Repairing Relationships Broken By Addiction
If you have a loved one who is living with an addiction and you want to repair the broken relationship, here are some suggestions to keep in mind:
- Try to Separate the Disease From the Person
You wouldnt blame a loved one if they got any other chronic, relapsing illness. Addiction is a disease that affects the way a person thinks and reasons. Once it takes hold, satisfying the urge to use or to drink comes first, and people will do anything to get their drug of choice. Addiction has no logic, morals or reason it only wants what it wants.
- Put a Stop-Loss Order on Past Events
At a certain point, decide that you are going to have to stop making your loved one pay for the events that occurred in the past. Neither one of you can go back and change them, nor does holding them over their head do anything for your current relationship. Accept what happened and if you have received an apology and/or the sincere offer to make amends, decide to close the door on the issue forever. Never bring it up again, no matter how hurt or upset you become later on. It needs to remain resolved.
- Start Living in the Here and Now
Deal with current issues as they come up. Allow yourself to get angry, frustrated or whatever. Have all the human emotions you normally have. Your loved one who is in recovery is not a fragile human being. Do express good feelings, too. When issues come up, deal with them promptly, and then move on.
Are You Dating A Drug Addict
It can be hard to know for sure whether or not youre dating a drug addict. Unless your partner is unashamed and very open about their addiction, or otherwise very bad at covering it up, chances are it can be difficult to discern if theyre addicted or not.
One thing to keep in mind is that if youre harboring suspicions, its certainly worth looking into not just for your well-being but for the health and safety of your addicted partner.
There are several things that could indicate that your partner is using or abusing drugs and trying to hide it from you. These things can include:
All of these things could suggest that your partner is using drugs however, its important not to make any assumptions. Bringing the idea up from a place of kindness and compassion is the best way to address it. Attacking or accusing drug addicts may make them defensive, and if your partner isnt using drugs, this could be taken as extremely offensive.
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Why Alcohol May Lead To Cheating
1. Alcohol lowers inhibitions. A person free of alcohol may detest the thought of cheating. However, this same person may find cheating ok when they are drinking.
2. Alcohol impairs judgment. When a person has a few drinks in them, they often act without thinking. As a result, they may become overly flirty with another person even though they have a partner at home. The more this person drinks, the higher the risk of infidelity.
3. Alcohol lessens anxiety. For many people, the thought of infidelity makes them very nervous. However, alcohol gives people a false sense of security. As a result, the fear of being caught cheating fades away.
4. Alcohol often brings emotions to the surface. For example, a person in an unhappy marriage may become sad and even cry. As a result, they may seek comfort from someone other than their partner.
5. Alcohol changes a person. For instance, a fun, outgoing, loving person may become mean and violent after drinking alcohol. It can also turn an extremely faithful person into a cheater.
Although cheaters often blame alcohol for their infidelity, being drunk doesnt justify cheating. Furthermore, a person is not obligated to stay with a partner who is drinking alcohol and cheating.
Drug And Alcohol Use In America
Nobody likes to think that addiction will happen to them or to their partner. But with drug and alcohol abuse, as well as other common addictions such as compulsive overeating, pornography and gambling, many spouses will find themselves having tough talks with their partners about addiction.
Alcoholism is one of the more common substance abuse disorders. It affects many marriages. All statistics are taken from the National Institute on Drug and Alcohol Abuse. Numbers reported are as of 2013, the most recent year figures are available.
- 7 percent of adults ages 18 and older have an alcohol abuse disorder.
- This translates into 16.6 million people in the United States.
- The majority who have an alcohol abuse disorder are men, with 10.8 million men suffering from alcohol abuse disorder.
In addition to alcohol abuse, drug abuse also strains marriages:
- Some 24.6 million Americans aged 18 or older used an illicit substance in the past month.
- Some 6.5 million Americans used prescription drugs nonmedically.
- Other commonly abused drugs include methamphetamine, heroin and synthetic drugs.
Compare these numbers to the number of married couples in the United States during the same time period. There were 59.2 million married couples in 2013.
Addiction can strain and even destroy marriages, especially when only one person is struggling with the problem. Consider these research findings:
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Understanding Cravings Helps Explain Why Addicts
To understand cravings is to understand some of the new brain science, namely that the brain controls everything we think, feel, say and do through neurons talking to one another in the brain and to and from others throughout the body via the nervous system.
Much of this science is the result of research of the past 10-15-20 years, which is the result of advances in imaging technologies that allow scientists and medical professionals to study the live human brain in action and over time, under the influence, with mental illness, after treatment, during its developmental stages and so much more. In the case of addiction, this research is explaining how / why addiction changes the way the brain works and the power of cravings.
Cravings are what tell a persons brain this is critical to your survival so you must do it. They are one of the four characteristics of this brain disorder . The other three are loss of control, physical dependence and tolerance.
The important take away is for the recovering addict | alcoholic to understand that a craving is not a command its a craving. It can be managed as was highlighted in the section, 5 Things to Do About Craving in the Addiction Documentary linked above. Equally important is to understand the brain can change.
Life Without Addiction Can Seem Like A Void
For someone with an addiction, life can often revolve around their addictive behavior. Although they plan to quit one day, for today, life without their addiction seems frighteningly empty. If you dont understand how this emptiness drives people back into their addictive behavior, they will tune in to that, and lie to shut you up.
Mention in a kind and positive way what you would like to see happening instead of the addictive behavior, preferably before the addictive behavior becomes part of your routine.
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How To Recognize Manipulation In Your Life
Recognizing manipulative behavior is not always easy to do, especially when youre coming from a place of love and concern. No one wants to believe someone they care about is manipulating them, but recognizing the signs is critical if you want to maintain a relationship and set healthy boundaries. If you suspect the person is attempting to manipulate you, look for these signs in the interactions:
- The person is given to frequent exaggerations and black-and-white language like always or never when describing themselves and others.
- The person knowingly pushes your buttons by preying on your emotional, physical or monetary fears.
- The person frequently alludes to their importance in your life or tries to assert their power over you in the relationship.
- The person steamrolls you during conversations, not giving you enough time to think and respond.
- The person is only kind and attentive when they want something from you.
- The interaction is leaving you feeling used, confused, bullied or guilty. Theyll remind you of your own failures and focus on those instead of being introspective.
- The person may bounce from family member to family member asking for favors, especially if theyre told no.
- The person might do nice things for you give you a ride, buy you lunch, etc, to try and prove that theyve changed.
- The person will never take responsibility for their behaviors, instead choosing to blame their lifestyle, other people, or anything other than themselves.
Negative Risks Of Codependency And Enabling Behaviors
A spouses drug addiction can jeopardize how you see the relationship and shake your world.
It is no surprise you might reach for defensive mechanisms such as minimizing and denying the problem. However, the longer you do this, the more you are postponing dealing with the problem. Doing that can lead to:
- Maintaining and reinforcing the addiction
- Too much focus on the addicted spouse, too little on the non-addicted
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The Connection Between Substance Abuse Addiction And Infidelity
Cheating can easily spiral out of control between the secrecy, the lies, and even the thrill of living a double life and sneaking around behind someones back. However, cheating isnt always easy or fun. Sometimes, people will use drugs or alcohol to lower their inhibitions, gain courage, and continue cheating on their partner. Or, someone who is considering having an affair while sober may end up acting out on these thoughts once they have used drugs or alcohol.
When people consume alcohol, they may use it as an excuse or something to blame their actions on. For example, someone may get drunk, blackout, and blame their cheating on the effects of alcohol. People who blame cheating on alcohol abuse may say things like I wasnt myself or it was only because of the booze. Alcohol and drugs also make people more relaxed and carefree, leading to a lower sense of awareness in regard to harmful behaviors and consequences.
Drug abuse is known to cause people to act differently, have shifts in perspective and thinking, and even boosts in self-confidence all of which could potentially lead to infidelity. Unfortunately, long term substance abuse often leads to drug addiction, and people who suffer from addiction may engage in infidelity at higher rates than the general population.
Signs Of A Sex Addict
Sexual addiction can manifest itself in many different ways, both physical and emotional. It takes a healthcare professional to make a clear diagnosis, but here are some signs that can point to a potential sex addiction:
Obsessive Sexual Thoughts
Someone dealing with sex addiction may find themselves thinking persistently about sex. These chronic thoughts of sex or sexual fantasies may become obsessive or interfere with other responsibilities.
Spending Excessive Time on Sex
While seeking out sexual partners isnât necessarily a sign of sexual addiction, if someone is spending excessive amounts of time and energy on sex, it might be a red flag. This can include spending time attempting to acquire sex, having sex, being sexual, or recovering from sexual experiences.
Feeling Shame or Depression
If a need for sex crosses over into an addiction, someoneâs sexual feelings might also be interspersed with feelings of anxiety, shame, depression, or regret. The individual may feel shame about their sexual urges and their difficulty controlling those urges.
They may even show signs of clinical depression or suicide ideation. Research shows that it isnt uncommon for people who are sexually compulsive to also show signs of depression, anxiety, and social anxiety. One study found that, among sexually compulsive men, 28% showed signs of depression, compared to 12% of the general population.
Excluding Other Activities
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Tips For Recovering Addicts To Rebuild Relationships
The perfect time to start rebuilding relationships with family and friends is in treatment. Making the commitment to get well means making important changes in all aspects of your life. These tips can help you to improve your personal relationships.
- Reach Out to Those People You Want to Reconnect With
The first step in mending fences is to extend the proverbial olive branch. If you are not sure how a former acquaintance will receive a phone call, or you want some time to consider what you would like to say, send an e-mail or a letter. Tell the person you are in treatment or have completed treatment for your addiction, as the case may be. Let them know you are in the process of getting your life back on track and that you would like them to be part of it.
- Be Honest and Direct About What You Want
The people who knew you when you were using no doubt got used to you denying that you had an addiction or trying to use them in some way. When you communicate with them now, your communication is going to be direct and clear. Apologize for what has happened between you in the past and ask for forgiveness.
- Dont Beat Yourself Up Over Past Events
Once you have asked for forgiveness over past events, draw a line under them. You dont have the power to change anything that has already taken place. You can move forward from this point, though, and make better decisions in your relationships from now on.
- Make a Point of Initiating Contact With Family and Friends
- Be Patient
