Dos And Donts When Your Loved One Is Struggling With Addiction
Finding out that your loved one is struggling with drugs or alcohol can be heartbreaking. It can leave you feeling angry, hurt, and confused. While it is normal to feel overwhelmed right now, it is important to realize that all hope is not lost. Recovery is possible, and you can help your loved one get there.
Youre most likely wondering what you can do to help? What to say? Where to start? And while there is no set guideline as to how to handle a loved ones addiction, there are certain dos and donts that you should know.
How To Beat Drug Addiction
by dmoakler | May 18, 2020 | Addiction Help
Dealing with drug addiction can make good people do things they never wanted to do. It can damage careers and relationshipsbut there is no one who is helpless or hopeless. By accepting your addiction, reaching out for help, and changing your habits, you can find sobriety and recovery. Read these eight tips to find out how to beat drug addiction and avoid relapses.
Stop Living In Denial
Too often, the people closest to the addict/alcoholic dont really want to admit that there is a problem. They minimize or justify destructive behaviors or ignore the evidence that is right in front of them.
Have you ever said statements like this
- Its not that bad?
- He/She likes to drink a little bit. Its no big deal?
- Theyll stop using drugs if I do this?
- She/He is just under so much stress?
Heres the uncomfortable fact if your spouse is misusing prescription medications, using illegal drugs of any sort, or drinking more than two alcoholic beverages a day, and IF that drinking/drug use is having negative consequences for them or your family, then your spouse is probably addicted.
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When A Person Has Been To Rehab And Then Relapsed
Addiction is a disease, and relapse is the nature of any chronic relapsing disease. Instead of viewing relapse as a step backward, think of it as a stepping stone and an opportunity for the addict and his therapists to re-evaluate previous treatment approaches and make the necessary adjustments.;;
It can be very tough for a person when he goes to rehab, wanting to get clean, succeeds, and then relapses afterward. His guilt may double because his family already supported him and invested in him, and he failed them as well as himself.;;
What Is Sexual Addiction
Id say the biggest thing that most people dont understand about sexual addiction is that sex addiction isnt about sex. The way that I see it, sexual addiction is more about shame, isolation, adrenaline, and unworthiness than it is about chasing after sexual experiences.
Or, as one SAA member once so eloquently put it in a meeting that I attended, When I act out with sex workers, Im not thinking to myself Oh boy, this is going to be super fun!. But rather, Im thinking I have such a tornado of pain inside of myself that I either have to kill myself or compulsively act out to numb the pain.’
Compulsive sexual behaviour is what sex addicts use to numb out their emotions, just like alcoholics often use staying drunk to avoid feeling their underlying difficult emotions.
Sexual addiction, just like any drug addiction, can have a sliding scale of symptoms ranging in severity. For some people, sex addiction looks like chronic masturbation to porn, where they dont feel like they can function in society without climaxing at least seven times a day. For others, sex addiction could look like occasional flare ups of wanting to use or act out with sex workers only when theyre going through emotionally trying times .
Ive met hundreds of sex addicts and there is no singular unifying theme that connects all addicts at least not in terms of how they like to act out sexually.
If the behaviour has control over you, then it has likely become a problem in your life.
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Dont Lose Sleep Over It
If you find yourself up late at night playing on your phone, whether it is video games, Facebook, or text messaging, you are losing precious sleep over your addiction. The moment you stop putting energy into caring for your basic needs and pour your time and energy into your phone, you are allowing the phone to dictate your health and well-being. If you catch yourself in this scenario, my advice is to power off your phone an hour before bed time to ensure that your last hour is spent in a meaningful way, and that you get to bed on time to start the next day afresh. Your phone is just not worth losing sleep over.
Now its your turn. Do you find yourself in one of these scenarios? Whats your plan of action to ensure that your phone isnt dictating your life? Please share in the comments below, and lets inspire each other to live healthier, happier, more meaningful lives by not caving into a phone addiction.
If you make your own coffee in the morning, chances are youre only making the same boring kind everyday. Now its time to put an end to the cynical habit and turn you into an instant coffee connoisseur.
For those who dont know, there are officially 38 different ways to make coffee. All, except decaffeinated versions will give you the same buzz that can either make you extremely productive or give you anxiety.
The only difference here is taste. And when it comes to coffee, taste matters. A lot.
Do I Need Health Insurance To Receive This Service
The referral service is free of charge. If you have no insurance or are underinsured, we will refer you to your state office, which is responsible for state-funded treatment programs. In addition, we can often refer you to facilities that charge on a sliding fee scale or accept Medicare or Medicaid. If you have health insurance, you are encouraged to contact your insurer for a list of participating health care providers and facilities.
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How To Help A Drug Addict Who Doesnt Want Help
When youre watching a loved one struggle with substance abuse, it is a nightmare. We often feel that we can only offer our help and love to them, but it may feel hopeless when they dont want your help. There are key facts to remember when it comes to helping an addict; you didnt cause the addiction, you cant fix them, and you cant control them. You can help someone who doesnt want help. Although it may seem like a trick question, it is possible.
Discuss The Option Of Medication
Medication can be helpful to those with a gambling addiction.
Their addiction may be tied to compulsive behaviors due to a mental illness.
This mental illness may not be controllable through behavior modification or effort on the part of the gambler.
This is where medication can come into play.
When the underlying conditions are controlled with medication, then the gambling problem can be the sole focus and gain better results.
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Tips For Helping Someone With An Addiction
The challenge with addiction is that the addict is not the only one impacted by this disease. Family and friends can have difficulty with the addicts behavior, financial problems, legal problems and the daily struggle of supporting a loved one. Here are seven tips that family and friends can reference to support an addicted family member or friend.
Discuss Treatment Options With The Gambler
Talk to the gambler about the possible causes for their gambling addiction.
Treatment options can start out with things like therapy and work toward inpatient programs or other methods if initial efforts fail.
For those who know that they have a serious problem and wont be able to get past it on their own, then inpatient treatment and complete isolation from venues and gambling opportunities is the best option.
Talking to the gambler may provide some insight that can not be gained otherwise.
This makes it easier to address the problem and encourages their cooperation because they were consulted and feel their opinion is valued regarding their own shortcomings.
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Substitute In Another Behavior That Has A Similar Effect
People often watch porn and masturbate as part of mood regulation, Fleming says. And while masturbation can decrease tension and anxiety, so can cardio, she adds. What are other behaviors that might help you have a similar response physiologically the role of an orgasm? Instead of watching porn, why not do a home workout that’ll release endorphins and other feel-good neurotransmitters?
Help A Loved One Find Treatment
Its difficult to know how to help a drug addict without creating a co-dependent relationship. If you try to fix everything for them, then they wont be able to develop their own coping skills. But avoiding co-dependency doesnt mean you cant offer reliable support to an addicted loved one.
One thing you can do to help a drug addict is to find a suitable therapist or treatment center for them. Research treatment facilities and counselors in your area who specialize in addiction. This is where being educated about addiction helps; you can do research on medical detox and inpatient treatment vs. outpatient treatment, and you can feel confident asking questions when you inquire about their programs.
Offering an addicted loved one money may enable their addiction, whereas helping to fund therapy sessions can do the opposite. For many drug addicts, mental health issues are what lead to addiction. Substance abuse can also worsen their mental health, so for many addicts, mental health treatment is necessary.
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Tip #: Seek Specialty Help
If you need assistance with financial issues or legal issues it may be helpful to talk to attorney providers that are covered. There are organizations that provide services on a sliding scale fee and you can often find those by calling your local Mental Health Agency or United Way. Local churches may also provide some low or no cost counseling.;
Take Care Of Yourself
Ultimately, you can only control your own actions. If your loved one is unwilling to start treatment even after an intervention, you have to take care of your own needs. Perhaps you can join a support group to find hope. Support groups are beneficial because they provide the opportunity to meet with people who understand first-hand how difficult your situation can be. Additionally, take time to exercise, eat healthily, and get sleep to reduce stress. By seeking help for yourself, you might ultimately motivate your loved one to reach out for help too. As you get healthier, your loved one might follow your lead. You can be an inspiration to someone struggling with addiction.
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Get Help For Your Loved One Today
As you can see, there are some specific steps to take if you want to succeed at getting an addict into drug treatment. If you approach the issue with sensitivity and take the time to research and prepare beforehand, youll have a greater chance of convincing them to take their health and well-being seriously and give drug and alcohol rehab a try.
If youre ready to get substance abuse treatment for your loved one, follow the steps outlined above. Feel free to reach out to us, too, to learn more about the admission process or for more guidance before you start moving forward with addressing your loved ones substance abuse.
Find A New Hobby Or Passion
When you do anything enjoyable, your brain releases a chemical called dopamine, and thats what makes you feel good. Dopamine is released when you do drugs, so when you stop giving your brain that supply, it will tell you that it needs dopamine.
The best way to overcome this is to find something newor maybe something oldthat you enjoy doing. It could be exercise, like walking, boxing, rock climbing, dancing, or a hobby like building things, painting, or making music. Building these new healthy, enjoyable habits will be key to dealing with drug addiction.
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Tip 2 Find Substitutes To Help Quit Vaping
Vaping is a physical oral habit, and youll probably miss the experience of putting the vape in your mouth. For this reason, find substitues to help quit vaping and make sure to stock up on snacks or other things that will keep your hands and mouth occupied.
Good Substitutes to Help Quit Vaping Include:
- Bubble gum or gumballs
- Pretzel sticks
- Popcorn
Try to substitute a food or snack flavor that reminds you of vaping. If you use strawberry flavored juice, find gum or candy that tastes the same, or maybe snack on fresh or dried strawberries. This might help your mind overcome missing out on the vaping ritual.
Keep in mind that people sometimes gain weight after they quit smoking so be sure to limit the amount of sugary or processed foods, at least in the long run.
In the beginning, dont be too concerned with this, as the goal is to use anything that will provide an adequate substitute for overcoming the oral fixation of vaping.
In addition to the physical routine of a having a vape in the hand to fiddle with or putting something in the mouth, there is also the mental aspect to any form of smoking.
Meditation and yoga are good replacements to help overcome the mental side of vaping and they fit perfectly into a healthier lifestyle.
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How To Help Someone With Drug Addiction
If you know someone who is having a challenging time letting go of drug addiction, it can be a tough time for you as well. You care for this person and want the best for him or her. But before you push them into going to a rehabilitation facility, its first important that you understand what theyre going through. Here are the things that you need to know about how to help someone with drug addiction.
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Continuously Taking Personal Inventory
This is the step which must be constant in your life in order to ensure that you dont relapse.
You would have made major progress in your recovery by now. However, the many effects of watching porn videos include getting strong urges to watch such videos again.
You might tell yourself that since you have been so good, it wont hurt to watch just one video. Dont! This is when you are in danger of relapsing, and this is the sole purpose of this step.
Educate Yourself About Addiction
Before you approach your loved one, take the time to educate yourself about addiction, detox, withdrawal, and various treatment options. The more you know, the better youre able to approach the situation calmly and with confidence. Understanding what the person is going through, at least on an academic level, will help you speak knowledgeably when the time comes to discuss the problem.
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Promise Your Support And Deliver
According to the NIH, Friends and family can help a person attend addiction treatment, even when someone doesnt want it. One way to ensure this is to promise that you will support the individual once they agree to attend treatment. Then, just like with the consequences you implement, you must be willing to deliver when asked to fulfill your promise.
Ways in which you can help support someone once they decide to attend treatment include:
- Helping them find a job if they are in need of one
- Allowing them to stay with you or helping find them somewhere to stay
- Agreeing to drive them to and from the treatment center
- Visiting whenever possible
- Attending family or couples therapy sessions with the individual
- Keeping track of their sobriety with them and helping them celebrate when they reach an important milestone
- Offering to listen and be there for them whenever you are able
Your support can be the most convincing aspect of your plea for someone to attend treatment. Letting them know that they arent alone can give them motivation to change, to build a stronger recovery. And the more you support them after theyve made the decision to attend treatment, the more they will continue to make better choices.
How To Stop Enabling Someone
Enabling someone you care about isnt an easy habit to break. Youll have to redefine what supporting your loved one really means, and that may mean doing things that make your loved one upset. Youll have to remember that even though they may get angry with you now, once theyre sober, theyll thank you for truly caring for them. Here are a few tips to stop enabling and start getting your loved one the help they need.
Dont make excuses for them
- No matter how much you want to, you cannot make excuses for the addicted person in your life. You have to face reality instead. Theyre not sick, theyre hungover. They didnt forget to pay their bills, they used the money to buy drugs or alcohol instead. Denying the problem doesnt make it go away. You must accept, acknowledge, and realize that theres a problem. At that point, you can assist your loved one in getting the help they need.
Dont take over their personal responsibilities
- When you pay some or all of your loved ones bills, take on their parenting duties, or clean up their messy house, you allow them the freedom to choose substances over their responsibilities. You relieve them of any sense of duty, making it okay to continue indulging in their addiction. Yes, it is scary to let your loved one fail to uphold their responsibilities because aspects of their lives may be falling apart. We understand that. But we also know that their life falling apart may be the wake-up call they need.
Do not loan or give them money
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