Addicts May Be Depressed
Addiction is a disease and it can often be connected to other mental illnesses. Since depression is both a symptom and a cause of addiction, you may notice concerning behaviors linked with both. For example, if they often drink alone just to get drunk or they have no motivation to do anything, they may be suffering from substance-induced depression. Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness add fuel to the fire and you may notice them drinking more when they are sad, at which point the habit becomes a dangerous, cyclical pattern. They may lose interest in the things they used to enjoy or begin neglecting their own needs and self-care routines. People with a family history of substance abuse are more likely to abuse substances themselves and it may become hard for them to get along with anyone who doesnt also use.
How Would It Work The Prospect Of Anti
Treatment of love addiction, like any other form of addiction, could take many forms. The most plausible starting place would be traditional therapies such as professional counselling, cognitive-behavioral techniques, psychoanalysis, or some combination of these and other widely-used treatment modalities that work primarily on the psycho-behavioral level . At the same time, considering the recent surge of research focusing on possible neurobiological sources of love addiction, it may soon be possible to devise adjunctive drug-based therapies that could facilitate treatment of problematic forms of love by working on underlying neurochemical substrates. In a recent paper , we identified four conditions for the ethical use of such anti-love biotechnology:
- the love in question is clearly harmful and needs to dissolve one way or another
- the person would want to use the technology, so there would be no problematic violations of consent
- the technology would help the person follow her higher-level goals and commitments instead of her lower-level feelings
- it might not be psychologically possible to overcome the perilous feelings without the help of anti-love biotechnologyor at least non-biotechnological methods had been already tried or thoroughly considered
Remember That Theyre Human Not A Monster
Addiction is a disease. It results in a distorted value system that shifts toward supporting ongoing substance use. It is OK to get frustrated or angry with your loved one and, for your own well-being, you may need to limit your contact if your loved one is actively using. But be wary of treating the person like an outcast or a disgrace to the family. This can shame your loved one and interfere with them reaching out for support. Once they enter recovery, though, communicate with them and try to understand how substance misuse became a routine part of their life.
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Can A Drug Addict Love You Back
No, at least not in the way that healthy love is defined while the addiction is active. An active drug addict might believe they love someone, and at times, they might behave in a loving way. But it is a broken relationship if active addiction is a part of it.
If you are asking yourself if a drug addict can love, seeking counseling and learning about addiction can be helpful.
Its important to note that many addicts are attracted to people with codependency issues or who are also addicts. Your enabling behaviors do nothing to help your loved one. The same is true if you neglect your health issues or fail to set healthy boundaries.
Suppose you are in a relationship with someone who is addicted to drugs. In that case, the best thing you can do is seek support from a professional who understands the dynamics of drug addiction and how it affects relationships.
All hope is not lost, though. It is possible for someone with a drug addiction to recover and the addiction to be inactive.
Many people recover from addiction and live happy, healthy, and fulfilling lives capable of healthy and loving connections. The healthier you are and the more you focus on your own life, the more you can help the person you care about if he or she is willing to accept help and break their addictive behaviors.
Ending Codependency With Someone Who Is Addicted
If you are in a relationship with someone who struggles with addiction and find yourself covering up for them, making excuses, and trying to control their use, it can take a toll on you emotionally. Codependency does come from a place of love and a desire to protect, care for, and help your loved one. However, it is important to understand that you may think you are doing a person a favor by covering up for them and helping them to avoid the negative consequences of their substance use, but you are actually reinforcing their substance use. If you want to treat your codependency, there are things you can try, even though these may be difficult for you to do:
- Let your loved one face the consequences of their actions, no matter how hard this may be.
- Let them handle the things that they are responsible for.
- Do not feel guilty for your loved ones substance use, as this is their problem to solve.
- Tell them that you are concerned and that their substance use is a serious problem.
- Make a commitment to take care of yourself first.
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How To Have A Relationship With A Partner In Recovery
If your loved one has chosen to begin treatment, thats a good sign they are on the road to a life without substance abuse. However, you will need to remember that addiction is a chronic disease, even if they have not used in months or even years. They will always have the potential to return to substance abuse and they will require lots of help to avoid this possibility.
The best thing you can do for your loved one in recovery is to provide them with support. Remind them that you are available to them and are sending them your love and encouragement every day. Tell them you are proud of them.
Beyond Addiction: How Science And Kindness Help People Change
Ive read dozens of books on addiction, treatment, and self-help. Believe me when I say that this book is unlike any of the others Ive read. Written by experts at the Center for Motivation and Change, Beyond Addiction is a truly unique guide for people who are dealing with a loved ones substance use disorder. This isnt another tough love book that tells you to get your loved one into rehab and totally detach from them. Instead it teaches you how you can play an active, important role in affecting change in your loved one, by usingare you ready for this?kindness and love. It also stresses the importance of self-care, which is so often overlooked by those who are trying to help a loved one in the throes of addiction. I wish this book had been around when my wife and I were trying to figure out how to handle our sons addiction. It wouldve made things a lot easier.
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Recognize That You Need To Leave
The first step to learning how to leave a drug addict is recognizing that you need to leave. You should recognize that its time to leave your spouse/partner thats a drug addict by asking yourself the questions that we mentioned above and truthfully telling yourself the answers to such questions.
For example, when asking yourself if youre enabling your partners addiction, truthfully give yourself an answer. If the answer is yes, then that is one major reason why you should leave. If the answers to the majority of the questions that you ask yourself about your relationship with your spouse/partner indicate that you should leave the relationship, recognize that you should leave the relationship.
Realize Theres A Lot About Substance Abuse To Learn
Having feelings of fear, worry and anger is understandable and normal. As with any other chronic illness, the more informed you are the better you will be able to support your loved one. You can help them, and yourself, by educating yourself. Learn more about substance use disorder, interventions, treatment methods and recovery programs. And know that now is not the time to nag, preach or lecture your loved one about what they should have done, how things could have been better or how wrong they are.
Seek professional help on how to approach your loved one about their addiction so they can get treatment for it. Assistance in Recovery is one resource in our community that offers advocates who can help coach you on ways to do this that work. They can also explain the variety of treatment options out there for your loved one many of which include the involvement of family and others who are supportive.
HealthPartners alcohol and substance abuse recovery treatment programs in Minnesota and Wisconsin include:
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Knowing When And How To Leave A Drug Addict
Often, addiction affects the loved ones of addicts as much as it impacts the addicts themselves. This is definitely the case when it comes to the significant other of an addict. Many people who are the significant others of individuals who suffer from addiction wonder to themselves if they should end their relationships. In many cases, the answer to this question is yes. Although, there are times when it may be appropriate to stay in the relationship. Ending a relationship with a drug addict is difficult. So, knowing how to leave a drug addict is important.
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Lies All Addicts Tell Themselves
As an addict, life is a game of survival. Day after day is dedicated to avoiding withdrawals and hiding the outward signs of chemical dependency. On top of that, feeding an addiction means developing an arsenal of psychological defense mechanisms. …
drug of choice. Deep down, most addicts are desperately searching for some … you or someone you know struggles with alcohol or drug abuse, help is available. Start by learning more about the …continue reading
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Dont Enable The Addicts You Love Either
The worst thing you can do in a relationship with an addict is enabling them to keep using. Enablement takes many forms. In some cases, the enabler might give their loved one money for food or rent while knowing deep down that the addict will spend it on drugs. In other cases, the enabler might simply give the addict a place to live despite the addicts lack of interest in getting sober. It looks different in every situation.
According to Darlene Lancers article Are You an Enabler?, published on PsychCentral.com, enabling is allowing the addict to keep using drugs without consequences. So, if you continuously bail your spouse out of jail when theyre arrested for drunk driving, you might be enabling. Or, if you allow your adult child to use drugs in the house despite the effects of their habit.
While it may seem inconsequential to do these things, they actually promote drug use. If you provide a safety net for the addict you love, theyre not going to stop using because they know youll catch them when they fall.
The pressure to enable can be intense, particularly coming from suffering or angry addicts who use manipulation to get their needs met, Lancer writes. But, pulling the safety net out from under the addict you love may be the best way to help them get sober.
How To Set Boundariesand Stick To Them
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Replacing Drug Addiction With Love Addiction
Recovery is hard work that requires a full-time commitment. Returning to daily life without the security of being able to use drugs as a coping mechanism can be terrifying, particularly when drug cravings and triggers to use set in. When people stop using and start dating right away, they run the risk of seeking comfort in relationships instead of drugs.
Love addiction becomes a concern when infatuation replaces the high of drug use, notes Desloover. Whether the object of the addiction is drugs or an unhealthy attachment to another person, the individual is searching for something outside themselves to fill the emotional void within.
The rush of a new relationship can be emotionally damaging and can derail even the most valiant recovery effort. In most cases, individuals who cant refrain from having a relationship in the first year of recovery are missing an opportunity to address the core issues underlying their addictions. They may have other mental health issues, compulsions and cross-addictions that need to be addressed as well, before they can truly focus on a relationship.
Ways To Increase Self
Self-care is essential to finding ways to limit the unwanted influence of substance use in your life. Self-care means actively using positive coping skills that improve your well being and better manage outside stress. Self-care can:
- Lower the negative impact of past or current stress .
- Lower the negative impact of future stress .
Self-care may initially seem selfish, but improving your own health will make you better able to help your loved one when needed. Additionally, it will increase your ability to be available for other people that need you.
People in caregiver roles that do not practice self-care can experience burnout and compassion fatigue. These occur when someone can no longer maintain a level of caring or interest in the loved one. People that experience burnout become cold, distant, and unable to care for themselves or others.
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Seeking Behavior And Addictions
Another important consideration is that substance use disorders are characterized by seeking behaviors. If someone is addicted to drugs or alcohol, they have a pathological disorder where rational decision-making is often replaced by the need to consume. Their choice to take and use drugs and alcohol is not a rationed out and measured decision like, say, buying a house or a new car. Instead, its a reflexive reaction that they do not think about, that they simply do. Like flinching away when something flies at your face, jumping back when you drop a knife, or reacting with pain slightly before you grab something you know is hot its a reaction you simply cannot help.
What does that mean for you? It does not matter how much you sit down with your partner and discuss things with them. It does not matter if you ask them to quit. It does not matter if they try to quit and succeed for a few days. The seeking behavior and using are reflexive behavior. They automatically respond and use without thinking about it.
Dealing with that kind of learned behavior is difficult to impossible without professional help. In fact, you likely shouldnt try to fix someone on your own. You cant. Instead, thats how you cause personal trauma, thats how you become codependent, and thats how you end up realizing youve spent years of your life on someone who isnt physically capable of investing the same into you.
Recognizing Drug Abuse In A Loved One
Its not always easy to recognize if a loved one is abusing drugs. In teens, for example, drug abuse can often resemble normal adolescent moodiness. Furthermore, theres no specific amount or frequency of use that indicates someones drug use has become a cause for concern. Whether your loved one is using every day or every month, its the adverse impact their drug abuse has on their life that indicates a problem.
Signs your loved one may have a substance use disorder include:
Experiencing problems at work, school, or home. They appear high more often, for example, and take more days away from work or school to compensate. Their work performance or school grades suffer, they neglect their responsibilities at home, and encounter more and more relationship difficulties. They may even lose their job, drop out of school, or separate from a long-term partner.
New health issues, such as changes in sleep schedule, often appearing fatigued or run-down, pronounced weight loss or weight gain, glassy or bloodshot eyes, and forgetfulness or other cognition problems. Depending on the type of drug theyre abusing, they may also exhibit frequent sniffing, nosebleeds, or shaking.
Recurring financial problems. Your loved one may run up credit card debt to support their drug use, seek loans, or ask to borrow money without any solid reason. They may even steal money or valuables to sell for drugs.
Drug paraphernalia to look out for
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How To Help A Loved One Struggling With Addiction
The best ways to help a person who is addicted to drugs or alcohol may seem counterintuitive, especially for people who struggle with codependent relationships. Some of these methods may seem harsh, but they come from a loving approach with the ultimate goal to help the person overcome their addiction and to help all parties heal. Basic steps are outlined below.
- Remember that addiction is not a choice or a moral failing it is a disease of the brain
- Addiction is ultimately a condition that the individual must learn to manage no one can take the fight on for the addict.
- Set boundaries and stand by them.
- Encourage the individual to seek help this may include finding treatment resources for them.
- Find a therapist who specializes in addiction counseling and get help. Loved ones of addicts need support too.
- Set an example for healthy living by giving up recreational drug and alcohol use.
- Be supportive, but do not cover for problems created by substance abuse. The person struggling needs to deal with the consequences of their addiction.
- Be optimistic. A person struggling with drug or alcohol abuse will likely eventually seek help due to ongoing encouragement to do so. If they relapse, it is not a sign of failure relapse is often part of the overall recovery process.
