Saturday, June 8, 2024

When To Leave An Addict

Coping With Withdrawal Symptoms

When to Walk Away From A Relationship With An Addict Or Alcoholic

Withdrawal symptoms can be a difficult aspect of overcoming addiction, both for substance and behavioral addictions. With substance addictions, the physiological aspects of withdrawal can be extremely uncomfortable, feeling like a bad flu, or can even be life-threatening. For this reason, it is a good idea to talk to a doctor about the best way and the best place to quit a substance.

Fortunately, most of the acute symptoms of withdrawal pass within a week or two of quitting. However, some people who quit an addiction find that certain withdrawal symptoms seem to go on and on. This is known as post-acute withdrawal syndrome, and it can go on for weeks, months, or even years in some cases.

The risk of dying from an overdose is extremely high if you have been through withdrawal, as your tolerance of the drug will be much lower than it was before you quit. Make sure you have someone with you if you decide to use again.

In addition, addictions can sometimes mask underlying mental health problems, such as anxiety, depression, sleep disorders, and even psychosis. If you are feeling blue or agitated, or you are concerned that the world or other people seem strange or upsetting since you quit, talk with your doctor. There are effective treatments for these problems that are much more effective than addictive substances and behaviors.

If Youre In An Abusive Relationship

Individuals who are experiencing any form of abuse by their romantic partners that are drug addicts should also know to leave. Anyone in a relationship with an abusive drug addict that doesnt leave is risking his or her life, well-being, and/or happiness. No romantic relationship is worth that risk, not even a marriage.

Knowing When To Leave And When To Get Help

No matter which way you look at it, knowing when to leave a relationship is complicated. It is even more difficult when addiction is involved. To learn more about whether or not ending a relationship with a drug addict is a good decision, and whether or not to disuse treatment options for your significant other, contact Florida Center for Recovery today.

Recovery is possible. Rehab can help. Its worth the try.

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Refusing To Acknowledge The Problem

Addicts do not enjoy being addicted. They may find short-term pleasure in using, but the feeling does not last. However, they may also not want to admit that they feel out of control. Addicted people frequently state that they do not have a problem. Often, they will try to turn the situation around and accuse their partner of being the one with the real issue. Many spouses leave when they become exhausted by someone denying an obvious problem.

What Happened In My Marriage

Leaving an Alcoholic Husband or Wife: When is it Time to Go?

My husband did not have an obvious addiction. Most people close to him didnt even know he had one and were shocked when he went to rehab. They blamed me and thought I was taking away his fun when in truth, he had struggled with addiction long before I came along. But the effects of his high-functioning addiction still hurt me and it was incredibly painful. He worked long hours, would not come home some nights, he spent an incredible amount of money, he lied to me daily, the list goes on.

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How To Leave A Drug Addict Boyfriend Spouse Or Child

Its a sad story that has been repeated far too many times. A young woman sits at a computer, furtively typing, how to leave a drug addict boyfriend, looking for help, and praying no one sees what shes looking for. Or a man collects his young children and leaves the house until his spouse comes down from her high, shakes her hallucinations, and stops screaming. Addiction doesnt only harm the addict all too frequently, it turns the lives of family and friends into waking nightmares. A rehabilitation facility can help lead the addict to recovery, but if they have no interest in getting well, it may be time for you to leave.

Knowing When To Leave A Drug Addict

The simple answer to knowing how to leave a drug addict? Youll know when you know.

The key is to not ignore that knowing. Otherwise, its shocking how fast time flies and things can grow worse.

Maybe youve known for a long time, but you cant seem to bring yourself to leave. This happens to a lot of people in relationships with addicts. But dont let that keep you in an unhealthy situation forever.

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When You Need A Break

There are certain situations where you dont necessarily have to cut ties yet. However, learning how to love an addict can be costly to your mental and emotional health. This is a point where you need a break. Below are the steps on how to temporarily separate yourself from the stressful situation:

  • Avoid contact temporarily: Depending on your sons personality, you can either be honest about them on taking a break or simply doing it subtly. Whichever approach you choose, avoiding contact can help remove toxic thoughts and stressful situations.
  • Do something distracting: Take a vacation, do something you love, or recharge by interacting with other people. This may help you gain a new perspective on how to approach your sons addiction.
  • Prepare yourself: During your break, you can prepare yourself to be stronger mentally, emotionally, and even financially to help your child. Taking a break gives you the refueling you need to overcome this difficult situation.

How To Leave An Addict Or Abuser

When should you Break up with an addict or alcoholic?

As long as youre under their spell, an addict or abuser has control over you. In order to become empowered, you need to educate yourself. Come out of denial to see reality for what it is. Information is power. Read up on addiction, codependency, and abuse on my website. Read Living with an Alcoholic-Addict and Codependency for Dummies. Regardless of your decision, its important for your own mental health to redeem your autonomy and self-esteem. Take these steps:

  • Find a support group, including a therapist, 12-Step group, like Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, Codependents Anonymous , and sympathetic friends?not ones who bash your spouse or judge you for staying.
  • Become more autonomous. Create a life aside from your relationship that includes friends, hobbies, work, and other interests. Whether you stay or leave, you need a fulfilling life to supplement or replace your relationship.
  • Build your Self-Esteem. Learn to value yourself and honor your needs and feelings. Develop trust in your perceptions and overcome self-doubt and guilt.
  • Learn How to be Assertive and set boundaries.
  • Learn how to nurture yourself. This is a life skill and also insulates you from abuse. See 12 Tips to Self-Love and Compassion. Get the Self-Love Meditation.
  • Identify the abusers defenses and your triggers. Detach from them. On my website, get 14 Tips for Letting Go.
  • Dont make empty threats. When you decide to leave, be certain youre ready to end the relationship and not be lured back.
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    Are You Putting In More Into The Relationship Than Your Addicted Partner

    Oftentimes, spouses/partners of drug addicts will put way more into their romantic relationships than their addicted partners. This could leave the spouses/partners of drug addicts feeling drained and underappreciated. If you feel as if your partners substance addiction is causing you to put in all the effort within the relationship, consider ending the relationship.

    They Will Use You For Your Money And Scam You Into Ways Of Getting Money From You

    I used to write letters, call him, take him to concerts, pay for all the drinks at the bar, and finally pay for our vacations. I did all this while attending university and being a student with a minimum wage job. Yes, it sucked. I got used for my money, my feelings, and my love for another human being all so they could support an addiction that did not involve me. He told me he couldnt afford anything, ever. We dated for a very long time and I cant remember a date where he paid for dinner or even for my coffee. It took me a year to pay off all the debt he put me into, but it was my own fault I never said no. I didnt think it was ok to say no.

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    When Someone You Love Has An Addiction

    The fallout from an addiction, for addicts and the people who love them, is devastating the manipulations, the guilt, the destruction of relationships and the breakage of people. When addicts know they are loved by someone who is invested in them, they immediately have fuel for their addiction. Your love and your need to bring them safely through their addiction might see you giving money you cant afford, saying yes when that yes will destroy you, lying to protect them, and having your body turn cold with fear from the midnight ring of the phone. You dread seeing them and you need to see them, all at once.

    You might stop liking them, but you dont stop loving them. If youre waiting for the addict to stop the insanity the guilt trips, the lying, the manipulation its not going to happen. If you cant say no to the manipulations of their addiction in your unaddicted state, know that they wont say no from their addicted one. Not because they wont, but because they cant.

    If you love an addict, it will be a long and excruciating road before you realise that there is absolutely nothing you can do. It will come when youre exhausted, heartbroken, and when you feel the pain of their self-destruction pressing relentlessly and permanently against you. The relationships and the world around you will start to break, and youll cut yourself on the jagged pieces. Thats when youll know, from the deepest and purest part of you, that you just cant live like this any more.

    So Youre Dating A Drug Addict

    Can Alcoholics Change? When It

    I can tell you how the process feels.

    You spend hours on the internet figuring out what is the disease of addiction and what its signs look like. In your free time, you find yourself obsessing about your addicted spouses drug dependency. The hiding spots. How theyre sweating differently today. What their eyes can prove to you.

    What youd do if you come home to find them overdosed. Fear. Regret. Shame. What you want to say. What they might do. Who they might be seeing.

    When they go out, you pace around with a knot in your stomach, analyzing every possible situation.

    Maybe you know that twinge of guilt too well cleaning up after them, feeling a lie come out of their mouth but trying not to feel defeated by it, constantly questioning your own gut reaction to subtle damaging behaviors.

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    Divorce And Addiction Statistics

    According to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention , about 41 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce.

    When heavy drinking is involved, this rate increases to an estimated 50 percent of couples, according to a study by the University of Buffalo Research Institute on Addictions.

    Another study, published in 2013, shows that substance abuse is a common final straw for spouses seeking a divorce, along with infidelity, lack of commitment, and too much conflict.

    Helping Your Addicted Spouse At 12 Keys Rehab

    You and your spouse can begin the journey to recovery together at 12 Keys Rehab. Located in Florida, 12 Keys Rehab offers a strong plan of recovery that includes body, mind, spirit and family to help addicts become free of drugs and alcohol.

    At 12 Keys, your spouse will find plenty of support. Many of the staff have recovered from addiction themselves, so they know what your spouse is going through. The ratio of clients to staff is kept low so clients can always find someone to talk to or help them over a rough patch.

    Your spouse will be treated like an individual at 12 Keys. We dont believe in a cookie-cutter approach to recovery. We know certain things are a must, such as complete abstinence from substance abuse, but we offer many therapies to help people chart their own personal course of recovery.

    12 Keys offers group and individual counseling, 12-step meetings, holistic therapies and more to help people recover. Theres plenty of down time for rest and reflection, and if your spouse loves being near nature, our waterfront location is ideal.

    We have a board-certified addiction psychiatrist on staff, Dr. Balta, to treat the medical issues related to addiction. Our staff includes therapists and others who can help your addicted spouse understand the disease of addiction and cope with cravings that can lead to relapse.

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    But What About When The Damage Isn’t Obvious

    Not only are there individual reactions to addiction, but there are different kinds of addictions. The choice to assert the boundary to “leave an addict isnt always clear.

    For example, if you went to therapy and told them your husband had a pornography addiction, you might get one of these three responses:

    1. Why don’t you join him? Maybe it’ll be fun!

    2. Why is he looking at porn- what’s missing in your relationship?

    3. He has an addiction, it’s a disease.

    If you told your secular therapist you wanted a divorce because of pornography, they may not take you seriously.

    For the Christian woman, a husband’s pornography addiction is not only morally offensive but spiritually destructive. Seeking help for a problem that isn’t obviously hurting her can not only be confusing- it can be downright damaging when the response is, You need to calm down.

    In my own experience, I was told multiple times I was the problem in my marriage for being such a prude. If maintaining a traditional standard of monogamy and morality in keeping the joy of a healthy, sexual relationship between husband and wife is considered prudish- fine. I’ll happily be a prude.


    Until recently, porn seemed to be only a Christian problem. But with the rise of theNo-Fap Movement and the increasing conversation amongst non-Christians about the effects of pornography on their sex lives, were now seeing its a more dangerous addiction than we once believed.

    Find Yourself A Support System

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    Its difficult to get out of an unhealthy relationship without some type of support. Whether it be a support group, a therapist, a trustworthy loved one, or even legal authorities if immediate danger is at hand, youre going to need to let someone know your situation. That way, its not trapped internally for you to deal with alone.

    This was truly the turning point for me, personally. I was lucky enough to have good health insurance at the time and found an amazing therapist who understood my situation. She helped me through some of the toughest parts of that relationship. And she encouraged me to start putting myself as a priority to stay sane.

    Also Check: How To Get Over Alcohol Addiction

    When A Spouse Wont Get Help For Addiction

    Substance use disorders are defined by the U.S. National Institute on Drug Abuse as a chronic, relapsing condition. And not all people are willing or able to get help.

    Confronting this reality, and living with its consequences, can be immensely painful for a spouse, particularly in cases of chronic or long-term addiction, which can cause:

    • financial problems
    • depression and loneliness
    • resentment

    Eventually, this can lead spouses of those with a drug or alcohol addiction to reach a point of no returnwhen they must take it upon themselves to say: no more.

    Remember The Three Cs Of Addiction

    The Three Cs of addiction is a mantra that every loved one of an addict should take to heart.

    You Did Not Cause It

    When your spouse has a drug dependency, its easy for them to blame you for it. You must remember that youre not the cause of your spouses substance use disorder. Blaming you is just a way for them to justify their actions. Accepting this can help relieve some of your guilt and hopefully force your spouse to take responsibility for their behavior.

    You Cannot Cure It

    Unfortunately, addiction doesnt have a cure. Like most diseases, it can only be managed. However, this can be done with the help of a quality treatment facility like Discovery Institute. Your spouse can keep his or her problem use at bay with the help of detox, therapy, and aftercare programs.

    You Cannot Control It

    Someone with a substance use disorder cannot control their drinking or drug misuse. Substances have affected their brain to the point where they cant function without drugs or alcohol. You also cant control your spouse and force him or her to enter drug treatment. This is a decision your partner must make for themselves.

    Its also important to remember that addiction is a disease that affects everyone. You may not be the one with the substance abuse problem, but it affects you just as much as it affects the person who drove you away with their poor choices.

    Also Check: How To Get Certified Addiction Counselor

    Tough Decisions To Make As The Romantic Partner Of An Addict

    At this point, there are two decision options that romantic partners of addicts can make. The first one is ending a relationship with a drug addict. This is especially true when a person is in danger of having an abusive encounter

    The second decision that one can make as the romantic partner of an addict is to remain in the relationship and continue to provide support. This decision is best suited for romantic partners of individuals with milder substance use issues.

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