Tuesday, May 28, 2024

Your Sexually Addicted Spouse Book

Books For Partners Of Sex Addicts

Dr. Barbara Steffens on Partners of SA’s

Several helpful books have been written for partners of sex addicts. Preview them here:

After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner has Been Unfaithfulby Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD and Michael Spring

After the Affair is a book to help readers survive this crisis. Written by a clinical psychologist who has been treating distressed couples for 22 years, it guides both hurt and unfaithful partners through the three stages of healing: Normalizing feelings, deciding whether to recommit and revitalizing the relationship. It provides proven, practical advice to help the couple change their behavior toward each other, cultivate trust and forgiveness and build a healthier, more conscious intimate partnership.

The Betrayed Husbands Survival Guideby Gary Owens

My wife cheated on me. The texts, pics, dates, and liaisons with other men created the most horrific moments of my life. Being married to a love and sex addict was traumatizing, but I survived, and so can you. Rediscovering your identity, finding help, and recovering will be some of the toughest but winnable battles of your life. The Betrayed Husbands Survival Guide shares practical tips and advice as the author shares his story of recovery from betrayal by a sexually addicted spouse.

Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addictsby Stefanie Carnes, Mari Lee, and Anthony Rodriguez

Mending A Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addictsby Stefanie Carnes, Ph.D.

Alcohol Tobacco And Other Drugs

The misuse and abuse of alcohol, tobacco, illicit drugs, and prescription medications affect the health and well-being of millions of Americans. SAMHSAs 2020 National Survey on Drug Use and Health reports that approximately 19.3 million people aged 18 or older had a substance use disorder in the past year.

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How Partners Can Cope And Heal How It Helped Me


What a weight began to lift from my shoulders as I read about this new model that many in the field have started to use in working with the spouses of sex addicts. It is called the Sex-Addiction Induced Trauma Model.

The theory here is that partners of sex addicts experience a unique kind of trauma that very often leads to symptoms that look an awful lot like PTSD. Therapists who use this model believe many of the actions these spouses take after the repeated discoveries of their partners betrayals, which have always been categorized in the past as evidence of the disease of co-addiction, are in fact much more accurately categorized as the normal reactions any human person would have when exposed to this kind of trauma. As I began to read through the descriptions of these actions I saw such an accurate picture of myself. These authors UNDERSTOOD me! They understood my motivation, my hurt, my heart! What a relief it was!

As I continued to read and see myself on every page and feel the hope that comes from believing that someone out there really gets you I found something else Courage! I found the inspiration I needed to put an end to the efforts to break my addiction to my husband and to instead shift my focus back to following Gods leading in my life. I cannot tell you what joy I felt in the next few days as we adjusted our treatment plans accordingly and my peace returned. Praise the Lord!

Also Check: Uab Beacon Addiction Treatment Center

Our Final Book Review

I am so thankful we found Your Sexually Addicted Spouse! It changed so much for us and for our healing. I believe wholeheartedly God sent it to us at just the right time!

If you or someone you know is dealing with the betrayal that results from sexual addiction then this book is for you! I know God has used this in so many other womens lives, just as He did in mine. And as you seek HIM in how to move forward with your sexually addicted spouse, I know He will use it in yours as well! Click the link below to get your copy and start reading it right now! Youll be glad you did!

Cherith Peters

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A Book Review Of The Best Book On Surviving Infidelity

Until I read this book, I had only ever been exposed to the co-addict model when dealing with the spouse of any kind of addict. Every other book I had read was from this angle.

The theory in that thinking is that anyone who marries a person with the disease of addiction is also diseased by what they call co-addiction, or co-dependency. According to those who subscribe to this model, these broken people are somehow naturally attracted to each other and, in marriage, you cant have one without the other.

I was always really uncomfortable with this idea and never really felt like it fit me quite right. But since Im no expert and I could see how some of my behaviors did seem to fit the predictions of the co-dependent model, I reluctantly accepted the diagnosis and began developing strategies to help break my addiction to my husband.

It made me very uncomfortable though. My soul was so unsettled the entire time I was working under this model. Every book I read, every therapist I saw heightened the discomfort. I no longer had the peace that I was in line with Gods plan for me that I had always been able to find all throughout this long and painful journey. Without that peace the situation felt unmanageable. Hopeless! Then God sent me this book through the recommendation of another woman in one of my support groups.

Recommended Reading: How To Get Addicted To Alcohol

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  • Your Sexually Addicted Spouse How It Helps Him

    How to Know If Your Spouse Is a Sex Addict

    Weve learned a lot about my husband in the past couple months. For instance, weve learned that he suffers from a few personality disorders. As a result, the world just looks a little different to him. Reality is a little skewed. He has to learn to recognize this and find ways to interpret the world around him through a lens of truth rather than his own distorted thinking.

    Empathy is a great example of something that comes naturally to most healthy people, but is very difficult for him. He CAN empathize, but it takes intention and a lot of work because in his reality there is only him when it comes to feelings and emotions. Stepping outside of himself and putting himself in the place of another is very difficult . As a result he has had a very hard time understanding the pain I have felt as a result of his actions.

    One of the features of this book is the inclusion of personal stories from a number of women who have been treated by Dr. Steffens. For me, these stories were encouraging because they validated my experiences and how those experiences made me feel and act. For my love, though, they echoed so many of the things Ive communicated, minus the ties to him and his actions. Since it wasnt him that caused the pain these women suffered he was able to recognize the horror of their stories. He was able to more easily put himself in their place and understand their pain. Then, he could take that understanding and apply it to me.

    Recommended Reading: How Do You Know If You Have Porn Addiction

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