What To Avoid When Talking To A Loved One About Addiction
When talking to a loved one about getting treatment for their addiction, here are some things to avoid:
- Preaching, lecturing, threatening or moralizing your loved one
- Emotional appeals that may increase the feelings of guilt and the compulsion to use drugs
- Lying or making excuses for their behavior
- Taking over their responsibilities doing this protects them from the consequences of their behavior
- Enabling their behavior by covering up the abuse or giving them money for drugs
- Arguing with your loved one when theyre using drugs during this time, your loved one wont be able to hold a rational conversation and likely wont be open to what you have to say
- Feeling guilty or responsible for their behavior its not your fault
If you feel that your loved one is abusing drugs, the best thing you can do is to encourage them to seek treatment for their addiction. Be loving and supportive, but also know that theyre likely going to make excuses for their behavior. Be firm in what you want, and keep encouraging them to get help. Although this isnt easy to do, its a critical first step in helping them achieve a healthy and happy life in recovery.
Do: Seek Counseling Or Therapy
Addiction affects everyone, from the person in treatment to their loved ones. Its important to ensure youre well enough to manage the potential stress of helping someone dealing with addiction. Acknowledging that you may be in over your head and in need of professional help is normal and healthy. Its also necessary for you to help your loved one to the best of your abilities.
Tip #: Understand You Cant Undo Or Redo
Parenting isnt a perfected field of study for anyone. Regardless of what anyone thinks, no parent is 100% perfect.
Everyone makes mistakes now and then, and everyone can always do a better job in one way or another. Dont be hard on yourself or focus on instances that you believe led to your childs addiction. You cannot undo or redo things in the past.
Keep your eyes on the future for yourself and your child.
Once your child becomes an adult, there is no way to go back and undo or redo anything from their adolescent days. Instead, you simply need to move forward and look for solutions to remedy the situation that you have in front of you right now.
This is easier said than done, but its a crucial tip for helping your adult child battling addiction.
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Discuss Treatment Options With The Gambler
Talk to the gambler about the possible causes for their gambling addiction.
Treatment options can start out with things like therapy and work toward inpatient programs or other methods if initial efforts fail.
For those who know that they have a serious problem and wont be able to get past it on their own, then inpatient treatment and complete isolation from venues and gambling opportunities is the best option.
Talking to the gambler may provide some insight that can not be gained otherwise.
This makes it easier to address the problem and encourages their cooperation because they were consulted and feel their opinion is valued regarding their own shortcomings.
Understand Relapse And Why It May Happen
In the case of an impulse control disorder like compulsive gambling, it is more than making a choice to change the habit.
It is also a lot of hard work, which means the process is a struggle.
Relapse is a common part of the process of overcoming addiction.
While it is not optimal for the gamblers success, it should not be taken as a sign of ultimate failure either.
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Manage Gamblers Finances To Remove Ability And Therefore Curb Temptation
Taking control of the finances helps ensure the gambler does not have easy access to funds to spend on their addiction.
This keeps things on track when they do have an incident of backsliding.
Knowing when the money is spent and how much means it is addressed faster and efforts are made to avoid letting it happen again.
Getting Help For Addictions
Addiction is a treatable condition. Whatever the addiction, there are lots of ways you can seek help. You could see your GP for advice or contact an organisation that specialises in helping people with addictions.
You can use the following online directories to find addiction treatment services in your area:
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Admit There Is A Problem
The hardest part to recovery is admitting you have an addiction. Substance use disorders affect the brain causing it to look for excuses and justifications to keep using.
Admitting a problem shows you have the courage to face your addiction and its underlying causes.
There are several places to turn to for help however, having a solid support system is essential in any treatment approach you choose. If you are not ready to turn to friends or family, consider talking to a therapist, doctor, or rehab facility.
It Can Help You Identify Areas Of Weakness
Another importance of accountability to addiction treatment is that your accountability partners can spot problems that you may not see. During addiction recovery, people have various triggers which can lead to a relapse. Sometimes it is difficult for recovering addicts themselves to identify these triggers or better still, areas of weaknesses. However, the right accountability partners can help you identify these weaknesses.
This way, you will be able to recognize the signs of an imminent relapse and seek help. Addiction services in Toronto offer accountability programs for this purpose. So, rather than wait till you suffer a relapse, become accountable to someone today. With the right accountability, you can work on your triggers and become a stronger recovering addict.
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Withdrawal Doesnt Last Forever
It isnt easy, and it may feel like forever. But withdrawals typically only last 7-10 days, with the worst of it during days 3-5. Remind yourself that pain is temporary, and after the tenth day, youll never have to go through that again, especially if you focus on recovery, therapy, and treatment following the initial detox period.
Addiction Etiquette A Simple Guide For People Who Dont Suffer From Addiction
Do encourage me to find professional treatment that is right for me the most important thing you can do for a loved one that is suffering from an addiction is to encourage them to find the help they so urgently need. Partner with them by offering to accompany them to an appointment at a local GP or independent caregiving service.
Do educate yourself about addiction before talking to me take the time to learn about the triggers, symptoms and signs of addiction. Being able to empathise with your loved one will help you to understand and talk to them in a positive way about their addiction and recovery options.
Do help me to set realistic boundaries and goals Although health care professionals should be where addicts go to for rehabilitation, you can help your loved one by partnering with caregivers to set boundaries and goals once they have been treated. Most rehabilitation services will offer support and guidance for family or close friends. Make sure to engage with this service so you can help your loved one have a better chance of a sustained recovery.
Do praise me when I achieve my goals but dont patronise Celebrate with your loved one when they meet a goal but remember that it is a constant struggle to achieve sustained rehabilitation. No goal is insignificant or small for a person who is dealing with addiction.
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How To Talk To Someone With An Addiction
Start by trying to talk to the person about their addiction. Having a one-on-one conversation may be less intimidating than staging an intervention with several people.
Find a time when you can be alone together and free of distractions or interruptions. Tell them that youre concerned about their behavior and ask if theyre open to hearing your thoughts. Try to use non-blaming language and avoid raising your voice or getting angry. They will likely respond better if you communicate from a place of compassionate concern. It may also help to talk about specific behaviors or incidents related to their addiction that have directly affected you.
If theyre receptive to hearing your thoughts and concerns, ask if they would be willing to seek professional help. They may not be open to discussing this option. They may become defensive. If this happens, let it go for the time being. Dont threaten or shame them. Instead, start talking with other family members and concerned parties to begin planning an intervention.
Tip #: Seek Specialty Help
If you need assistance with financial issues or legal issues it may be helpful to talk to attorney providers that are covered. There are organizations that provide services on a sliding scale fee and you can often find those by calling your local Mental Health Agency or United Way. Local churches may also provide some low or no cost counseling.
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How Can I Tell If My Friend Is Addicted To Drugs
Their behaviour, their physical appearance, and certain stuff in their environment can provide clues as to whether your friend might be addicted to drugs.
- sudden changes in behaviour or mood swings
- withdrawal from family members and old friendship groups
- carelessness about personal grooming
- loss of interest in hobbies, sports or other favourite activities
- neglect of responsibilities.
- red, glassy or bloodshot eyes, or pupils that are smaller or larger than normal
- sniffing or a runny nose
- frequent nosebleeds
- shakes, tremors, incoherent or slurred speech, impaired or unstable coordination
- sudden weight loss or weight gain.
The following items could also be a sign of addiction:
- spoons and syringes
- small, resealable baggies that could be used to store drugs
- pipes, plastic bottles, or cans that have been pierced or tampered with
- burnt foil
- stuff missing, such as money, valuables or prescription drugs.
S You Can Take To Overcome Addiction
There is a ton of information out there about addiction recovery, and there are always new theories and science that lead to new programs. Recommending the best program or way to recover from addiction is a loaded topic because each individual will respond to something different. Its important to know that there is no right or wrong approach in fact, the only right approach is the one that works for you!
Its also worth mentioning that there are many stories of recovered addicts who quit using without the help of any recovery programs! Some have turned to their churches or have received paid incentives for clean drug tests. Some have received psychiatric help or used cognitive behavioral therapy. And there are even people who simply outgrew their addictions. These people are usually those who used drugs and alcohol in their teens and 20s and then found a life that was more fulfilling, either through meaningful relationships, work, or other interests.
With all that in mind, here are some steps that you can take to help with recovery:
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Utilize Your Recovery Program
When dealing with the stressors of the holiday season, it is important for addicts to stay very close to whichever program they are using as part of their recovery. Whether its counseling or twelve step programs, its imperative to create relationships within the recovery community, especially if your normal holiday crew is detrimental to your sobriety. If you are part of a twelve-step program, the holiday season is the time to start going to more meetings. Being proactive about your recovery can help make difficult times easier, and hitting a few more meetings a week can be extremely beneficial.
One of the ideas behind twelve-step programs is that it allows people to feel connected to others so that they no longer feel that they are suffering alone. This can be even more important when the holiday season comes around, as recovering addicts will find that a lot of people in recovery have similar issues with this time of year, and hearing stories about other peoples suffering can make your own suffering feel a bit less severe. This is an especially helpful tool if your family situation causes stress, as the recovery community can act as a placeholder during a time that is so focused on traditional family structure. For people who are earlier on in their recovery journey, there may be some great advice given by long-time members who have gone through the holiday season many times and survived.
How To Help Your Daughter Addicted To Alcohol Or Drugs
Having a daughter addicted to drugs or alcohol is painful for any parent. Throughout a childs life, parents feel responsible for the choices they make regarding their children. Every good parent wants their child to remain safe and happy, but they are at a loss about how to help them when theyre addicted to drugs or alcohol.
Its normal to go through a series of terrifying emotions and to blame yourself when such happens. You may also feel angry and disappointed in your child. However, this mix of feelings wont help your daughter addicted to drugs or alcohol. The emotions will only cause more harm than good to your mental and physical health in the long run.
This post helps you answer the question, My daughter is addicted to drugs how can I help her? Its also essential to take care of your emotional and mental health when trying to help your daughter. With this in mind, keep reading for insights.
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Symptoms Of Drug Abuse
There are many signs both physical and behavioral that indicate drug use. Each drug has its own unique manifestations, and symptoms of abuse vary from drug to drug. However, some general signs that your loved one may be addicted to drugs include:
- Sudden change in behavior
- Problems at school or work
- Lack of energy or motivation
- Becoming careless about personal grooming
- Loss of interest in hobbies, sports and other favorite activities
- Changes in sleeping patterns
- Sudden requests for money or a spike in spending habits
If you or someone you love is struggling with substance use or addiction, The Recovery Village can help. Contact us today to learn more about addiction treatment programs that can work well for your needs.
Medical Disclaimer: The Recovery Village aims to improve the quality of life for people struggling with a substance use or mental health disorder with fact-based content about the nature of behavioral health conditions, treatment options and their related outcomes. We publish material that is researched, cited, edited and reviewed by licensed medical professionals. The information we provide is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. It should not be used in place of the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare provider.
How To Get Through The Festive Season If You Struggle With Alcohol Or Addiction
It’s the most wonderful time of the year – but for Kiwis struggling with alcohol addiction, Christmas can also be the most challenging one.
After everything 2021 has thrown at us, we may joke that we’ll all need a few extra wines to get us through the holiday season.
But it’s important to remember that Christmas can be even more difficult for those who already struggle with alcohol use.
The holidays are meant to be a relaxing time spent with family – but that often comes with added financial pressure, strain on relationships and disrupted daily routines.
All this can leave you reaching for a drink more often than you should – so how do you combat the pressure to have too much?
Drug and alcohol rehabilitation centre The Retreat NZ has shared five tips to help you get through the silly season.
A Person Is A Person Is A Person: Labels Arent Your Call To Make
But what about when people refer to themselves as a junkie? Or as an alcoholic, like when introducing yourself in AA meetings?
Just like when talking to people with disabilities or health conditions, its not our call to make.
Ive been called a junkie a thousand times. I can refer to myself as a junkie, but no one else is allowed to. Im allowed to, says Tori, a writer and former heroin user.
People throw it around it makes you sound like s***, Tori continues. Its about your own self-worth, she says. There are words out there that hurt people fat, ugly, junkie.
Amy, an operations manager and former heroin user, had to balance burdensome cultural differences between her first-generation self and her parents. It was difficult, and still is to this day, for her parents to understand.
In Chinese, there are no words for drugs. Its just the word poison. So, it literally means youre poisoning yourself. When you have that harsh language, it does make something seem more severe, she says.
Connotations matter, Amy continues. Youre making them feel a certain way.
Language defines a subject, says Dr. Stalcup. Theres a huge stigma attached to it. Its not like when you think of other conditions, like cancer or diabetes, he says. Close your eyes and call yourself a drug addict. Youll get a barrage of negative visual images you cant ignore, he says.
I feel strongly about this A person is a person is a person, Dr. Stalcup says.