Change Your Habits Find A Better Alternative That’ll Revert Your Responses
What works is that you understand the cycle of your addiction and alter it by doing something else that would take you away from it. What you do is swap old habits for new and better ones.
For instance, you can revert to a new habit, such as: You see a hot girl—> you take a shower, meditate, or exercise —> date your wife/girlfriend or hang out with your friends .
The constant flow of acceptance and appreciation of your direction can make you feel fulfilled and emotionally secure. You’ll start loving yourself, and you know what that means. Having healthy self-esteem isn’t likely to result to doing something destructive to yourself.
Causes Of Erectile Dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction is a far from simple issue and it can have many causal factors which can include:
- Atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries
- Vascular disease
- Neurological damage as a result of injury, multiple sclerosis, motor neuron disease and Parkinsons disease among others
- Prostate problems
- Some prescription medication such as hypertensive drugs, antidepressants and antipsychotics
- Peyronies disease
- Surgery to the genital area
- Injury to the genital area
Psychological or emotional causes can include:
- Relationship problems:
- Poor body image
Other Potential Causes Of Erectile Dysfunction
In traditional examples of erectile dysfunction, a man is unable to achieve or maintain an erection firm enough for penetrative sex. There are many causes and several risk factors that will influence this condition, most of what are related to age. However, erectile dysfunction is a complicated issue and there can be more than one cause.
Primary erectile dysfunction, which occurs when a man has never been able to achieve an erection, is very rare and is almost always the result of a severe underlying condition.
Some of the most common examples of secondary erectile dysfunction include:
- Psychological issues such as body image issues or sexual anxiety
- Problems with a relationship
- Blood vessel disorders, including those that result from heart issues
- Neurological damage, often the result of diabetes
- Prostate disorders
- Smoking induced atherosclerosis which clogs arteries
Most often, periodic difficulties with achieving or maintaining an erection are typically the result of stress. A man that only experiences the occasional erectile dysfunction is unlikely to be diagnosed with it or any other related medical condition.
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Why Make Your Intention Firm
If you are clear and resolute about your intention that “I want to have healthy and strong erections during my sexual performance,” you will be motivated to do anything to achieve it. It can make the endeavor easier, too. But if, on the way, it gets tricky, hold on, and remember to be all-in.
Taking into account your firm intentions, you will be able to implement the most appropriate strategy. It’s different strokes, different approaches, for other purposes.
Not that you have to plan for it excessively, but be utterly and calmly decisive about it, and you’ll have more chances of success. You can write it down on paper and commence with your approach right away. You can edit later.
Sets Unrealistic Expectations For Sex
People once learned about sex through rumors and magazine articles. Today, teenagers only have to conduct a quick Google search to learn everything they needed to know- and more.
They may take the sex at face value and assume thats what everyone is doing. As a result, they may pressure themselves to engage in certain activities or behaviors. This pattern can be traumatic and downright dangerous for young people.
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Common Causes Of Erectile Dysfunction
A Johns Hopkins study attributes erectile dysfunction to health-related problems like cardiovascular risk factors and a history of cardiovascular diseases. They also attribute it to hypertension, diabetes, and lack of physical activity.
Meanwhile, UWHealth, a website that focuses on urology health, has listed the following extensive psychological and physical reasons:
It Can Affect Your Partner’s Self
When a partner observes their partner drawing away physically, preferring instead to turn to pornit can be a heavy blow to their self-esteem.
Questions around their abilities in bed, the interests of their partner, and what other areas they may be falling short might consume the significant other of a person with this hypersexual disorder.
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How To Break The Habit
The most important thing you can do to set yourself up for success is to walk this path with someone else.
Having an accountability partner, with whom you can safely share your thoughts, feelings, insights, and wins, will exponentially increase your chances of winning over the addiction.
Revealing yourself is also transformational. The act of being witnessed and accepted, as you openly share the most intimate truths of your situation, is immensely healing. Your mind will create fear and cause you to want to hide. Push past it! Dont discount the power of simply talking with someone.
Remember, left to their own devices, an addict will rarely ever choose to give up their drug of choice for any length of time on their own. It usually takes hitting rock bottom or some outside force to change their mind. I wish I could be that force for you, but the fact is you need someone there on the ground with you.
Tips For Having An Accountability Partner
Examples:
Guilt And Religious Or Moral Qualms
Molly Papp, certified sex addiction therapist, explains how this may affect men in the bedroom, Arousal often begins in the mind, sending messages to the body, specifically the genitals.
Our thoughts, beliefs and values influence what we are sexually attracted to.
When a man has shame about the things that turn him on, sexual dysfunction often occurs.
These thoughts can make him feel anxiety, which takes him out of his body. Not being present in his body while also experiencing guilt and shame is a recipe for erectile dysfunction.
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What Is Erectile Dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction , also known as impotence, involves being unable to achieve or maintain a hard erection before or during sexual activity. This condition is considered a sexual dysfunction that can be acute or chronic . It can also pop up out of the blue or be permanent. The truth is there may not be a single, distinguishable cause for erectile dysfunction.
In other words, the exact cause of this condition varies from man-to-man, but, some possible causes of ED include:
- Mental health conditions: depression, anxiety, body image issues, or a fear of being unable to sexually please a partner
- Sex-based religious, familial, or societal guilt
- Childhood sexual abuse or trauma
- Relationship issues
- Medical conditions: Parkinsons disease, chronic kidney disease, Multiple Sclerosis , type 2 diabetes, obesity, high blood pressure, heart disease, bladder cancer, clogged arteries, or high cholesterol
- Prescription medications: blood pressure medications, ulcer medications, antidepressants, sedatives, appetite suppressants, or prostate cancer medications.
- Drug and alcohol abuse , tobacco, or nicotine use
- Penal scar tissue
- Pelvic or spinal cord injuries or surgeries
- Low testosterone
- Sedentary lifestyle
Estrangement From Family And Friends
This can break the bonds of friendships, as friends may not understand this kind of addiction. Sometimes, families decide to cut contact with the addicts instead of helping them out and supporting them during this tough time. This will add to their sense of helplessness and loneliness and may take them deeper down into depression.
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Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety
If you have excessive fears and concerns every time youre about to have sex, you should consider treating your performance anxiety.
How can you go about doing this? Heres a hint: if you take anxiety out of sexual performance anxiety, what are you left with? Sexual performance.
In other words, focus on reducing your anxiety and improved sexual functioning will follow.
Trends In Sexual Dysfunctionunanswered Questions
Up until the last decade, rates of ED were low in sexually active men under 40, and did not begin to rise steeply until thereafter . A 1999 major cross-sectional study reported erectile dysfunction in 5%, and low sexual desire in 5% of sexually active men, ages 18 to 59 , and a 2002 meta-analysis of erectile-dysfunction studies reported consistent rates of 2% in men under 40 . These data were gathered before Internet âporn tube sitesâ enabled wide access to sexually explicit videos with no download required. The first of these âtube sitesâ appeared in September 2006 .
Traditionally, ED has been seen as an age-dependent problem , and studies investigating ED risk factors in men under 40 have often failed to identify the factors commonly associated with ED in older men, such as smoking, alcoholism, obesity, sedentary life, diabetes, hypertension, cardiovascular disease, and hyperlipidemia . ED is usually classified as either psychogenic or organic. Psychogenic ED has been related to psychological factors while organic ED has been attributed to physical conditions . For men under 40 the most common diagnosis is psychogenic ED, and researchers estimate that only 15%â20% of cases are organic in origin .
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Erectile Dysfunction: Physical And Mental
Erectile dysfunction is typically associated with aging. At age 40, about 40% of men experience ED at least minimally and 5% have complete ED. By age 70, it affects 70% to some extent and 15% have complete ED.
Erectile dysfunction is linked with underlying physical issues, including cardiovascular disease, obesity, and neurological disorders. In fact, the presence of ED between the ages of 40 and 49 predicts an increased risk of cardiovascular events .
However, the causes of erectile dysfunction can also be mental or emotional. Men who are under stress or who feel pressured to perform might experience ED.
Block Website Access From Your Computer
If you really cant trust yourself to refrain from watching the stuff, there are plenty of apps that let you block access to various websites on your computer.
You can do the same with your children if the reason youre reading this is for their safety. The trouble is, its very easy to change a setting on an app or browser, and go back to your old ways.
Which is why you should try locking the settings with a password or email address, of someone elses info!
You heard me get a friend to keep the password or settings control for you. That way, if youre really struggling, youd have to ask them to let you in. And thats just embarrassing.
Have a quick search on Google for some apps you can use. Theres a ridiculous number of them!
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Tips For Staging An Intervention
| 1. Dont Do It Alone. A professional interventionist is always the most qualified to guide a successful intervention. Also, rely on non-addict family and friends especially those who have a close relationship with you or the addict. |
| 2. Research Ahead of Time. Its best to do plenty of research ahead of time to gather insight on the addiction and how it affects the addict. Also, be prepared with local resources for getting help. |
| 3. Write Out Your Statement. During the actual intervention, emotions will likely be running high, so its best to have a statement of how the persons addiction has impacted you and your relationship with him or her. These statements should be honest, yet written from a place of love no personal attacks. |
| 4. Offer Help. Its important for everyone attending the intervention to offer tangible help and support as the person works through detox and rehabilitation. |
| 5. Set Boundaries. If the person refuses to seek help and take the next steps outlined, its important that they understand that everyone present will end codependent and enabling behaviors. |
Factors Involved In Erectile Dysfunction
Generally speaking, as a person gets older, erections may take longer to achieve and might not be as firm and the process of having sexual intercourse may not be as instant as it was as a young man. There may be a need for more touch and a slower and more sensual approach.
Risk factors that may contribute to erectile dysfunction include:
- The use of tobacco, in the long term, can promote health problems such as restricted blood flow and other chronic conditions which may lead to erectile dysfunction
- Obesity or just being overweight increases a man’s chances of suffering from ED
- An inactive lifestyle. Taking regular exercise is vital when it comes to having healthy erections
- Diabetes which is poorly managed can lead to a myriad of other health issues which are directly connected with ED
- Illegal drug use such as marijuana and cocaine can cause damage to the blood supply and so affect the ability to achieve an erection
- High cholesterol levels can damage the lining of the blood vessels which supply the genitals
- Stress and anxiety are leading causes of ED. Being distracted can affect a mans ability to become aroused
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Can Affect Daily Functioning
Being glued to a screen displaying pornographic material can be very obstructive to your daily flow. It can hinder productivity in the workplace, at home, and in social settings.
The overwhelming need to watch others engage in intercourse can become more important than the meeting scheduled with a client, attending the doctors appointment, or even taking much-needed time to relax and enjoy the day.
Reality Offers Less Visual And Auditory Stimulation
Sex films often have numerous graphic scenes, and they switching quickly between scenes. This creates a heightened sense of excitement. In real life intimacy, everything is much slower. While there is an increase in tactile stimulation, its impossible to experience as much visual and auditory stimulation. This can create a mental correlation of arousal by watching sex as opposed to having sex.
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The Mechanics Behind Addiction
Dopamine makes you feel relaxed, uplifted and happy. Essentially, Its a mood booster.
This is why you become addicted to behaviours that cause dopamine release. If youre feeling anxious, sad, or bored, you know youll get a little relief if you eat fast-food and jerk off.
Dr. Gabor Mate, addiction specialist and family physician, illustrates a brilliant perspective of what addiction is, through his lectures and books. While working for nearly two decades with hardcore drug addicts in Vancouver, B.C.s notorious downtown Eastside, he realized something profound.
He says that, addiction is not the problem, it is an attempt to solve a problem.
Addictions, he supposes, are a salve for a deeper wound, or a means of momentarily escaping some background anxiety or trauma
You can stream it anywhere, anytime, wherever you have cell service or WIFI.
On top of that, the male brain is deeply evolutionarily wired to seek sex and novelty. What could be a more perfectly designed addiction for modern men?
Start Seeing The Bigger Picture
If youre caught up in a loop of chronic use, the real question is:
What might you be trying to escape? What are you trying to cope with?
It could be:
The list of possibilities is exhaustive, even onto preverbal, traumatic childhood memories. But these are the kinds of things that underpin our addictions.
It creates a pressure and excessive fascination around it, which you express in secret with an air of guilt and shame.
