Disordered Eating And Food
Support groups for problematic food-related behavior include:
- Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous: A 12-step program for those who have had an eating problem, including overeating or bulimia.
- GreySheeters Anonymous: A 12-step program for compulsive overeating.
- Overeaters Anonymous:A 12-step program for overeating, undereating, anorexia, bulimia, and other problem eating behaviors.
There Is Always A Way Out
No matter what situation youre in, no matter how this addiction has affected you or your family, there is a good, loving God who is full of grace, who has provided hope and healing.
Finally, heres some truth you might want to memorize:
The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. 1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT
Putting It All Together
Sexual sin is such a grave threat to the church today, and it will not go down without a long, drawn-out fight, as if eternity were at stake because it is.
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Do Your Part With Help
First, they have decided to trust you with something very painful. However, youre not their counselor, you arent their only confidant, and you are not responsible for fixing the problem. They just overcame a huge hurdle, so thank them for sharing.
Theyre telling you because they believe its wrong, so they dont need to be reminded right now. Dont freak out. They are taking an important step, but there will be many more down the road.
You dont have to know all the next steps. You can listen, ask them what they plan to do next, and check in to see if theyve taken their next step. If youre hearing from your spouse, child, or significant other, its a good idea for you toseek help from a counselor, pastor, and trusted friends.
The Magic Of Evolution Or A Miracle From God
On a side note, secular science credits the magic of evolution to explain human sexual desire and the brains susceptibility to be sexually conditioned. But why does the brain reboot itself sexually in the absence of porn? What evolutionary mechanism precipitated a phenomenon that only first surfaced in human experience a decade ago? From an evolutionary standpoint, rebooting is just about as easy to explain as is sexual desire, the brains susceptibility to be sexually conditioned, or the millions of other unexplainable miracles that regularly occur in human bodies.
If, however, God is the designer of all these things, then the reboot phenomenon is evidence of His grace. Prior to reading , I unthinkingly interpreted the God gave them over clauses in Romans 1 to be warnings of irreversible acts of Gods judgment. Now I see that, just as persisting in evil results in God-determined slavery to sin, so resisting evil results in God-determined freedom from sins slavery, and even for those who may resist only some evil, but still indulge in other forms.
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Get Physical & Get Away From The Computer
Crackheads arent just addicted to the high of crack cocaine. Theyre addicted to the stuffing, lighting, and the passing of the crackpipe. Its the ritual.
However, you almost certainly have to use a computer.
This creates a ritual. You sit down with the intention of working, but you get the urge to jerk off. Good old-fashioned physical activity works best for me at those times.
Go for a run, lift some weights, stretch, whatever.
This also has the side benefit of getting you in shape, which will make the next step that much easier.
Block Website Access From Your Computer
If you really cant trust yourself to refrain from watching the stuff, there are plenty of apps that let you block access to various websites on your computer.
You can do the same with your children if the reason youre reading this is for their safety. The trouble is, its very easy to change a setting on an app or browser, and go back to your old ways.
Which is why you should try locking the settings with a password or email address, of someone elses info!
You heard me get a friend to keep the password or settings control for you. That way, if youre really struggling, youd have to ask them to let you in. And thats just embarrassing.
Have a quick search on Google for some apps you can use. Theres a ridiculous number of them!
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Engage In Physical Activity
Engaging in physical activity has been shown to positively impact the reward center of the brain which promotes overall well-being. Exercise is known to improve the physical and mental health of individuals by controlling the reward impulse, which may help explain its ability to mitigate internet addiction.45
Sensitised Pathways Remain Even When You Quit Your Addiction
Thus, its really DeltaFosB that causes sensitisation and it does this by creating stronger and more powerful nerve connections in the brain. Long after an addict has quit using and DeltaFosB levels have returned to normal, these sensitised pathways remain. This explains why alcoholics who have been sober for many years may still suffer from strong cravings when they walk into a pub.
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Financial And Acquisition Problem Behavior
Support groups for financial and acquisition problem behavior include:
- Debtors Anonymous: 12-step program for compulsive debtors.
- Gamblers Anonymous: A group to support recovery from problem gambling and are guided by 12-step principles.
- Spenders Anonymous: A 12-step program for those who want to recover from compulsive spending and taking on debt.
- Workaholics Anonymous: WA meetings include phone meetings, online meetings, or in-person meetings in the United States or internationally. This is a 12-step program for those who are compulsive about work.
Take A Second And Think Beyond The Images Or Videos Youre Looking At
This is a person, a real woman, a human being created by God, just like you. Shes somebodys daughter, sister, or even mother. Think of what her life must be like in front of the camera day after day, exploited and made insanely vulnerable. Chances are good that shes a sex trafficking victim and your addiction is helping to fund this multibillion-dollar crime. She does not exist for your enjoyment. She is being held captive and more than likely is crying out for help.
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Seek More Than We Are Satisfied
However, our dopamine system is stronger than our opioid system. This means that we seek more than we are satisfied. Seeking is more likely to keep us a live compared to sitting around in a satisfied heap. In summary, dopamine compels animals into action. This is why scientists refer to dopamine as the seeking circuit. Dopamine provides the motivation for us to pursue our wants and desires.
We receive a bigger burst of dopamine when we look at foods containing a bigger proportion of sugars and fats. This is because these foods are most likely to keep us alive when we are threatened with starvation. This is why you believe you are full until the waiter offers you that chocolate pudding. The anticipation for that pudding is fuelled by dopamine. Dopamine surges thus override feelings of satiety.
Access The Wound That Makes You Return To Unhealthy Addiction
We live in a broken, fallen world. You can grow up in a perfect family with tons of support and still get hurt. Some people can process their pain relationally with others, but many of us cant do that. We dont know how. We find ways to numb our pain, and those can become addictions.
Ultimately, you must go on the journey of exploring your own life and ask, “Where have I been wounded and how do those wounds affect me today?”
Have you been hurt by abuse? Divorce? High school? If we dont identify these wounds, well end up treating the symptoms rather than the root problems. You must explore your own story with safe people. Discover where youve been wounded and allow yourself to process that pain. Then you can find healing.
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Neuroplasticity: How New Reward Pathways Arise
Forming new brain pathways in this manner is known as neuroplasticity. This is how we learn and how we become addicted. Overtime, old brain pathways weaken. This is known as forgetting or breaking a bad habit. Creating or weakening brain pathways is often known asrewiring the brain. Thus, neuroplasticity allows the brain to adapt as a result of experience.
Although they didnt know it, they had been seduced into pornographic training sessions that met all the conditions required for plastic change of brain maps.
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Nerve Cells That Fire Together Will Wire Together
Sensitisation and learning are governed by this simple principle: nerve cells that fire together will wire together. When nerve cells experience pleasure, nerve cells carry that message to the reward centre by join together. Overtime, this pathway that carries this message becomes fixed. When a memory or cue activates memories related to this pleasure, a powerful craving arises because the pathways that allow this pleasurable cue to reach your reward centre are well established.
This is illustrated by the image below:
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For Families And Codependents
These meetings are for those who have relatives and friends with addictions and problem behaviors. In addition to these groups, there are often links to family recovery groups for specific addictions or behaviors on the sites for the programs dedicated to them.
- Adult Children of Alcoholics: Find an ACA meeting by location search. They also have online meetings and phone meetings.
- Alanon and Alateen: Search for an Al-Anon Family Group meeting by location in the United States and Canada. You can also use the site to find online meetings, international meetings, or phone meetings.
- Codependents Anonymous: A 12-step program for recovery from unhealthy relationships.
- Families Anonymous: Get a PDF file of FA meetings by state. This is a 12-step program for those who have a family member with an addiction or problem behavior.
- Nar-Anon: A 12-step group for friends and families of people with substance use disorders.
- Recovering Couples Anonymous: A 12-step group for couples who want to restore and maintain their relationship in recovery.
Fight With Gods Warnings
So, how should we fight? Put broadly , it consists of coming under two words: the word of command and the word of promise.
In 1 Thessalonians 4:1, Paul makes known to the church how she ought to walk or how it is necessary to live. This general statement becomes a specific command in 1 Thessalonians 4:34: Abstain from sexual immorality, knowing how to control own body in holiness and honor. Apparently, some in the community were struggling to master their body or vessel . They acted out in lustful passion like the pagan Gentiles who do not know God .
To know God is covenantal language. Acting as those who do not know God is to live as if youre not in a covenant relationship with God. It is to live a life of infidelity, without the slightest concern for how your spouse will respond in this case, the God who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light . This ungrateful lifestyle leads to destruction not only of ones self, but also others. Thats why Paul further commands us not to transgress and wrong his brother in this matter .
This inescapable reality of judgment should cause the unrepentant to repent and flee to Christ. Thankfully, Paul doesnt leave us with wrath hanging over us. He also gives a word of promise.
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Are There Treatment Options Available
Many individuals benefit from who can help them overcome emotional difficulties and make positive changes in their lives. Usually, treatment incorporates:
- : This therapy focuses on challenging and changing unhelpful cognitive distortions and behaviors, improving emotional regulation, and developing coping strategies that target current problems.
- Individual therapy: One-on-one therapy sessions offer a unique and transparent space for those in recovery to express their challenges, emotions, and hopes.
- Couples therapy: When behavioral addictions break apart relationships, both romantic and family ones, couples counseling can help restore trust and rebuild relationships, which can be essential for support in long-term recovery.
- Group therapy: Speaking about challenges, emotions, and troubles in a group environment, can offer a sense of fellowship and support and provide a space to build sober relationships.
- Self-help groups: Usually, addiction is a lifelong journey self-help groups can offer aftercare support once someone ends treatment. Usually, these 12-step programs provide a sense of structure that can help with long-term sobriety.
Get Some Online Accountability
Use software to monitor your online activity. Covenant Eyes is a great resource. It allows you to receive your accountability partners reports weekly for the sites they visit and the searches they make. It lets you know when you need to follow up with each other on questionable activity. Finally, it allows you to celebrate with each other in putting online struggles to death.
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What Is Sensitisation
Sensitisation is a form of unique and powerful Pavlovian conditioning that alters the physical and chemical nature of your reward structure. Instead of salivating to the sound of a bell like Pavlovs dogs, your reward circuits are stimulated when you turn on a computer monitor or when you see a sidebar banner of a semi-naked women on a non-pornographic website.
Tell The Truth Kindly
If youre confessing, remember that youve probably been practicing this conversation in your mind for a while. The person you confess to hasnt. Youve possibly had a chance to start the healing process and see a path forward. While they might be blindsided by the information. While you cant control their reaction, you can take steps to help share with kindness and compassion.
If youre confessing to your spouse or significant other, be especially thoughtful about timing, location, and exactly what you share. Think of how you would want to be treated in this situation and put your spouse first. Dont let this stop you from being honest, but practice empathy as you confess. Bringing in a counselor, a pastor, or, if appropriate, your LifeGroup leaders for wisdom is a good idea.
Again, in the case of a marriage, it is often a wise choice to bring in a mutually trusted third party to help facilitate some of the healing that will take place.
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What Lust Is Not
Having defined what lust is, it might be helpful to define what it is not.
Sexual desire, in general, is not lust, as it is God-given .
Observing or admiring the physical attractiveness of a clothed member of the opposite sex is not lust. Scripture describes both Rachel and Esther as being beautiful of form and face , two characteristics that could both be admired without transgression .
Scripture tells us that Sarah and Rebekah were both very beautiful, so much so that both of their husbands feared being murdered by lustful men who might covet their wives . The Bible also mentions the beauty of Abigail, Bathsheba, Tamar, Abishag, Queen Vashti and Jobs daughters .
Joseph was handsome in form and appearance , which made him very desirable to the lustful wife of Potiphar. Scripture says concerning Saul, There was not a man among the people of Israel more handsome than he . David is described in the Bible as being ruddy, with beautiful eyes and a handsome appearance . His striking genes seem to have passed on to his son Absalom, of whom it is written, Now in all Israel was no one as handsome as Absalom, so highly praised from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no defect in him . He was a hunk.
Beyond all that, notice Jesus didnt say, Everyone who notices an attractive woman has already committed adultery in his heart. No, it is only when one lusts that one is committing adultery in ones heart.
How To Join A Support Group
For most support groups, all that is required to join is a desire to begin recovery. Most people join a support group by simply walking in the door of a meeting near them. No invitation is required and there are no dues or fees. For members, there is often a voluntary collection.
That said, there are “open” meetings for members and non-members as well as closed meetings for members and prospective members only. Depending on the type of meeting, you might come across some of the following codes that indicate a more exclusive support group or additional services offered:
- American Sign Language
- Al-Anon Family Groups from Al-Anon
You can still find a meeting the old-school way by looking up a phone number in the white pages of the local telephone book or online.
Some databases are detailed and allow you to see which meetings are for newcomers or are wheelchair accessible, non-smoking, or LGBTQ+-friendly, among other characteristics. Other pages are less detailed and may only have phone numbers or listings for you to contact the meeting organizers.
The following is a list of official mutual support group websites and their meeting listings. If you cannot locate a face-to-face meeting near you, there are many online meetings available.
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