How To Help A Spouse With Drug Addiction Find Treatment
If youre wondering how to help your husband with drug addiction or what you can do to support your wife, it is important, first and foremost, to recognize that your spouses treatment journey is their own. Being married to an addict leads many to feel like it is their job to help them get better. You can be there to support them, but you cant force them to recovery.
If your spouse recognizes their addiction and is ready for treatment, you should try and seek help as soon as possible. This means figuring out which type of treatment is best for his or her situation and helping find a quality rehabilitation facility that follows evidence-based, data driven approaches to treatment. There are a number of different types of treatment programs that address specific populations and needs which might suit your spouses particular situation.
Learn More About The Disease Of Addiction And The Process Of Recovery
Addiction is a disease, and the more you know about that disease, the better-equipped you will be to effectively guard against harm to your family. Its important to fully understand the disease concept of addiction, because then you can step away from the shame and blame game, where you resent your spouse for some supposed moral weakness or, alternatively, shoulder the blame and responsibility yourself. When you treat addiction as a medical illness, you understand that it is no ones fault. Instead of focusing on the afflicted person, you can begin to focus on the disease and on strategies for successful management.
Things You Need To Do When Your Spouse Is Addicted
Some of the most complicated relationships in life can be those we actually choose: the people we date, the people we live with, the people we marry, the people we have children with. Unlike our relationships with parents or siblings or cousins and so on we actually seek out and are selective about those with whom we are romantic. Somehow, however, those relationships can take the most work.One factor that can throw the biggest loop in a marriage or long-term relationships is drug or alcohol addiction.
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Seven Things Every Sex Addicts Partner Should Know
For a sex addict to recover from their addiction, their partners contribution will be essential. I am not going to lie to you by saying it is easy. Neither you are obliged to stay where your happiness is compromised, just that love tends to mean sacrifices.
Before making a decision, I recommend you consider these 7 statements that will help you open your eyes about this condition.
Giving Up Sugar Tasting God’s Goodness
As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still pedaling away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.
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Resources That Can Help You Deal A Husbands Addiction Or A Wifes Recovery
12 step programs are not just useful to individuals with substance use disorders. The principles can also be helpful to loved ones, as they too suffer the consequences of addiction and alcoholism. Recovery is a process that includes and directly affects spouses and family members. It requires active participation in sharing, listening, reconciliation and rebuilding the broken relationships, trust, and family units. In many cases, families of addicts and alcoholics may also require help, advice, guidance or a space to share and process the challenges of substance use disorders. Families Anonymous, Nar-Anon and Al-Anon all provide confidential spaces for families of loved ones to meet, share and support one another.
As the husband, wife or partner of an addict or alcoholic, it is important to seek support for yourself and family, and not just focus on their needs. Being married to an addict creates emotional challenges, and both parties must heal. Having a group of peers that are dealing with similar struggles can encourage you to support the addict in your life in healthier, more effective ways while providing an anonymous, non-judgmental outlet. It is critical to take care of yourself during this difficult time, and the fellowship of peer support groups like Nar-Anon Family Groups, Families Anonymous,and Al-Anon can be an instrumental part of this process.
Are There Other Resources For Spouses Of Addicts
An Al-Anon support group is a great place for married people to come and discuss the everyday problems and challenges of having an addict in their family. They can listen to your struggles, help you see how its hard on everyone involved, including the children, and provide guidance as well. Many married addicts who can find it hard to attend support groups and will feel more comfortable attending with their spouses.
When an addict is disgusted with his or her use of drugs or alcohol, this feeling can make them want to go back to rehab, but when they relapse again, they will feel even worse about themselves and be driven even further into addiction. Always remember that addiction is a disease andno matter how much your married addict hates the things they are doingthey cannot stop using on their own.
Telling them what to do wont help in fact, itll only push them away from getting the help they need. If youre married to an addict, its important not to yell or humiliate them because you drive them back into substance abuse.
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When Someone You Love Is An Addict
Youre dealing with someone different now.
When an addiction takes hold, the person you love disappears, at least until the addiction loosens its grip. The person you love is still in there somewhere, but thats not who youre dealing with. The person you remember may have been warm, funny, generous, wise, strong so many wonderful things but addiction changes people. It takes a while to adjust to this reality and its very normal to respond to the addicted person as though he or she is the person you remember. This is what makes it so easy to fall for the manipulations, the lies and the betrayal over and over. Youre responding to the person you remember but this is not that person. The sooner youre able to accept this, the sooner you can start working for the person you love and remember, which will mean doing what sometimes feels cruel, and always heartbreaking, so the addiction is starved of the power to keep that person away. The person you love is in there support that person, not the addict in front of you. The sooner youre able to stop falling for the manipulations, lies, shame and guilt that feeds their addiction, the more likely it will be that the person you remember will be able to find the way back to you.
Go for progress, not perfection. There will be forward steps and plenty of backward ones too. Dont see a backward step as failure. Its not. Recovery never happens in a neat forward line and backward steps are all part of the process.
Here Are 7 Helpful Things Every Spouse Should Know About Sex Addiction
1. Your Suspicions Are Most Likely Real
It is normal to minimize the disconnection you are feeling in your marriage. Obviously, there are relational attachment styles that promote unfounded and unrealistic jealousy patterns, but when there are apparent signs of deviant sexual behavior, it usually indicates a problem.
Unfortunately, few sex addicts admit to a problem when confronted with the circumstantial evidence. It usually takes getting caught before the addict will admit to the problem and become willing to get help.
2. Its Not Your Fault
Everyone has the freedom to make their own choices about their sexual behavior. Most of the time, choices towards deviant sexual behavior started well before you were married.
Your husbands sexual addiction is not about you.
This is not about your weight, age, shape, or sexual competency. This is about your husbands inability to cultivate connection and intimacy. Certainly, there are most likely marriage issues that need to be addressed, but your husband has made choices to find comfort, nurture, and pleasure outside of your marriage.
While your husbands sexual choices are not your fault, they do impact you.
Loss of self-esteem, stress, anxiety, depression, inability to trust, reduced ability to enjoy sex and romance, and fear of the future are just some of the negative fallout when you discover your husband has engaged in deviant sexual behavior.
The worse thing you can do is to take the blame for someone elses choices.
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Ways To Be Supportive To A Spouse In Treatment
Once your partner is in treatment, it is important to educate yourself on the recovery process. Peer support networks can be especially useful in helping you learn about what an addict goes through during treatment while connecting you to resources.
There are a number of ways you can support your spouse both while they are in treatment and once they leave rehab:
- Encourage them to follow through with all of their treatment recommendations
- Reinforce the importance of abstinence to their sobriety
- Avoid situations where substance use is common. This might include family events and get togethers with individuals with whom they previously used drugs or alcohol
- Encourage them to seek out a sober communities, peer support networks and participate in sober social activities
- Work on developing healthy communication patterns
- Help them cope with their stress by listening, avoiding judgement, and finding solutions
- Patiently work with them to process their emotions by using the skills they acquired in rehab
- Learn about their recovery and understand what may trigger a relapse
- Create a prevention plan and know what to do and who to contact in the case of a relapse
Navigating The Inner Maze Of Conflicting Reactions
The knowledge that your spouse/partner has been living a secret life creates a whirlwind of intense emotions that may include anger/rage, anxiety/panic, jealousy/insecurity, sadness/depression, suspiciousness/paranoia, to name a few.
As you sift through these difficult reactions, you may start to notice that certain feelings exist along side their polar opposites, for instance, you may feel both the desire for revenge and the desire to help the desire to flee and the desire to hang in there the desire to be vulnerable and the desire to shield yourself from potential pain.
Part of your confusion and the intensity of your pain might involve conflicting emotions reactions to the complicated reality that the person who hurt you is in need of help . These emotional polarities are confusing they can lead you to doubt yourself and make you uncertain about how to respond in any given moment.
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Create A Relapse Response
Although it is not quite absolute to state relapse happens, it is common enough that you can best protect yourself by being prepared for the possibility.
- Open your own banking account and put money in that you can draw upon if needed
- Have a backup plan where you can temporarily put some space between your spouse and your family, if necessary a friends house, a shelter, etc.
- Get legal help Protect yourself and your children Protective Orders, Custody Agreements, etc.
- Safeguard your joint assets be prepared to move money between accounts, if necessary
- Have a phone list ready for people that you may need to call sponsors, family members, coworkers, etc.
- Be prepared to send your spouse right back to treatment
Trying To Preserve The Familys Image
The participants stated that they had to conceal the problem of their spouses addiction because if anyone knew that their spouse was a substance abuser, they would no longer trust them to work outside the house. And that they were trying not to notice their neighbours or relatives that their husband was addicted and because of the fear of dishonour, they did what their spouses wanted and tolerated their spouse. These experienced concepts of participants were categorised into a more abstract category of Trying to preserve the familys image.
Im honest I have to keep my appearance. I care about dressing myself because I work outdoors .
My husband tells me to call Moslem to give me my drug. Now you want to make everyone understand that you are taking my drug .
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The Questions You Have To Ask Yourself If Someone Close To You Lives With Both
If you are in a relationship with someone who struggles with addiction, and is a narcissist, you may find it difficult or impossible to figure out what, precisely, you should be doing, thinking, or feeling.
Lets address the addiction first: Its likely that your understanding of this individual’s addiction evolved over time because many addicts are very good at hiding their behavior. Once discovered, close friends may make an effort to see such addictive behaviors through the lens of the disease model, which requires empathy and understanding. It also calls on you, as a close partner, to be as supportive as possible to help a partner in his or her struggle to recover.
But what if youve come to realize that your partner is also a narcissist? Dealing with that recognition in a healthy way requires a different response than the one prompted by the disease model. In fact, empathy and support are actually not helpful in dealing with a narcissist.
Deep down, is every addict also a narcissist? And is every narcissist actually an addict? These are the difficult questions that the partner of a narcissist and addict has to explore and answer for him or herself.
The Link Between Addiction and Narcissism
I feel as though the narcissist in my life actually enjoys the attention he receives at meetings and in counseling, and it makes him feel ‘special’ because he considers himself the worst-case scenario in his group.”
Concern On Spouses Leaving
The participants were concerned about the fact that their spouses did not leave successfully and that they increased their medication dosage, instead of reducing their drug use, and they were concerned while meeting with their old friends. These experienced concepts of participants based on their similarities assigned to more abstract categories with Concern on spouses leaving label.
Then, after a while, they were taking drugs, they increased their drugs a lot, instead of reducing their drug, which made it harder for anyone to take .
The cases that a woman said her husband would leave ten times for the slave to leave, but her husband would not leave .
B) The main category of disadvantaged social status includes 3 subcategories: trying to preserve the familys image, social stigma and family social isolation. All of these subcategories were categorised according to semantic similarity and fit into a more abstract category of disadvantaged social status.
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More About The Author
If you notice your significant other is dealing with a problem with drugs or alcohol and you need help learning how to help your husband with drug addiction, take some time to learn what you should do to help them achieve sobriety. and how to help someone addicted to drugs.
With NSDUH data showing over 20 million adults in the United States have substance use disorder, millions of Americans find themselves in a close relationship with a partner abusing substances. Not only can this type of addictive behavior undermine the relationship, but it can impact the whole family, especially if children are involved.
Helping an addicted spouse involves effort and teamwork, and the first thing you need to establish is whether your husband is addicted to drugs, and to what extent he is addicted.
From there, it is best to seek out a professional treatment program to help your husband overcome this issue. At Renaissance Recovery, we have a top-notch Orange County drug rehab available to help all those who have fallen victim to addiction.
Before we outline how to help your husband commit to recovery, well double down on how to determine if he is addicted to drugs.
Help My Husband Is An Addict
What else can I do? How else can I cope?
Everyone in Pakistan does it. The situation is so bad that there is no other choice.
This is going to mess you up its like asking for trouble!
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Get Yourself A Support System
Support systems are not only vital for recovering addicts. Theyre also vital to the loved ones of individuals in addiction treatment. This includes current and former spouses/partners of drug and alcohol addicts. Therefore, prior to ending a relationship with a drug addict, establish a support system for yourself.