Access The Wound That Makes You Return To Unhealthy Addiction
We live in a broken, fallen world. You can grow up in a perfect family with tons of support and still get hurt. Some people can process their pain relationally with others, but many of us cant do that. We dont know how. We find ways to numb our pain, and those can become addictions.
Ultimately, you must go on the journey of exploring your own life and ask, “Where have I been wounded and how do those wounds affect me today?”
Have you been hurt by abuse? Divorce? High school? If we dont identify these wounds, well end up treating the symptoms rather than the root problems. You must explore your own story with safe people. Discover where youve been wounded and allow yourself to process that pain. Then you can find healing.
Bonus: Theology Of The Body Into The Heart By Christopher West
If anyone is of the religous type here, then I highly, highly recommend looking into John Paul IIs the Theology of the Body. But that may be a little heavy, then I recommend Christopher Wests series of videos deconstructing the book in the context of lust, love, and relationships called Into the Heart to help you understand human sexuality in the context of Gods purpose for our lives.
Nerve Cells That Fire Together Will Wire Together
Sensitisation and learning are governed by this simple principle: nerve cells that fire together will wire together. When nerve cells experience pleasure, nerve cells carry that message to the reward centre by join together. Overtime, this pathway that carries this message becomes fixed. When a memory or cue activates memories related to this pleasure, a powerful craving arises because the pathways that allow this pleasurable cue to reach your reward centre are well established.
This is illustrated by the image below:
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Neuroplasticity: How New Reward Pathways Arise
Forming new brain pathways in this manner is known as neuroplasticity. This is how we learn and how we become addicted. Overtime, old brain pathways weaken. This is known as forgetting or breaking a bad habit. Creating or weakening brain pathways is often known asrewiring the brain. Thus, neuroplasticity allows the brain to adapt as a result of experience.
Although they didnt know it, they had been seduced into pornographic training sessions that met all the conditions required for plastic change of brain maps.
If youre looking for addiction recovery books, check out our guide on the best books on addiction recovery »
Go Through The Steps To Freedom
The Steps to Freedom in Christ is a spiritual and moral inventory of your life written by Neil T. Anderson.
We have found that a weekend retreat works the best to complete the Steps.
- It allows men to focus on what the Holy Spirit is saying and not be distracted.
- We strongly recommend disconnecting from smart phones for the weekend.
- It takes about 6-8 hours to go through the Steps. This is why the weekend retreat works well, but you can also do it weekly in your continued meetings
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Sex Is For Christians Biblical Insights For A Lifetime Of Purity And Pleasure
PLEASE NOTE: This e-teaching is not appropriate for children, preadolescents, and many adolescents.
The bedroom is illuminated only by the glow from his computer screen, which hes been staring at for three hours. The door is locked, and a blanket has been laid across its bottom so no light can escape the room. He wears headphones, so no one else in the house can hear the exaggerated gasps and moans. He doesnt want his secret to be discovered.
At times hes shocked by what he sees, but it doesnt take long before he finds himself accustomed to what previously disturbed him. In fact, what previously excited him no longer has the original kick. Like a video-game addict, hes progressed through several levels, and there is no turning back.
The images that fill his mind each night resurface as soon as he awakes late in the morning, and they follow him throughout the day. Its difficult for him to think about much else. He has little motivation to do anything. The people with whom he interacts throughout the day have become like ghoststhere, but not really there. He has a hard time looking at anyone in the eye. But no matter. His world of excitement waits for him each night when everyone else has gone to bed.
Dr Tim And Mrs Noreen Muehlhoff
Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution. Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biolas Center for Marriage and Relationships where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast.
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Mr And Mrs Guy And Amber Lia And Mrs Jean Daly
Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,
What To Do When You’re Not Okay
Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.
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Why Stop If It Makes You Feel Good
Of the many reasons out there, you have to find your own reason, for if you dont have a good personal reason, then youre not going to ever want to stop. For me, and for most, I didnt want to be a slave anymore. I wanted to see the world rightly and have a deeper relationship with others. I wanted to actually contribute something valuable to society, not be a mindless consumer doomed to spend his days in front of a computer screen.
I wanted to be happy again, I wanted to feel the wonder I was filled with as a child. We carried on with life without this stuff before, what was stopping us now?
So, I made a choice, as with all things in our life, we have the ability to choose and to take the path less traveled.
Most of these resources come from a great Coach.Me series created by Jeff Finley called and is a great jump start for anyone looking for a way out of the darkness.
If Youre Concerned About A Loved One
It may be a problem if you notice that your loved one:
- watches while at work or at other inappropriate places and times
- is unable to keep up with their social, occupational, or other important obligations
- is experiencing relationship difficulties
- has tried to cut back or stop, but cant keep themselves away from it
If someone you care about shows signs of a compulsion or addiction, it may be time to open the lines of nonjudgmental communication.
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The Sacred Sexuality Project
Mark Queppet did a series of videos around this topic and their just a great paradigm on how we should view ourselves and our bodies and live a higher expression of our sexuality while helping men turn their lives around.
He also now has an academy which is actually pretty costly, but if you want to fully commit to something, putting some money on the line definitely will help put some skin in the game and get you on the right track.
Free Christian Song Downloads In Mp3 Format
Scripture tells us, Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God . This one verse, perhaps more than any other, helps us to understand that our worship should be so rooted in biblical truth that we effectively teach and admonish one another as we sing. Such is the legacy of the classic hymns of Christendom. They are sermons set in songshymns that remind Christs Church of His eternal revelation.
Following this old example, and quite some years ago when he was still pastoring, David Servant wrote and non-professionally recorded a number of Scripture-based songs that you are free to download below.
Below is also one professional-recorded album you are welcome to download for free. David loves and appreciates the deeply spiritual songs of friends who comprise Christ our Life, a Canadian group, and he is thankful that they allow us to make their songs available on our website.
Be blessed as you listen!
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Love In Every Season: Understanding The Four Stages Of A Healthy Relationship
Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether youre single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.
Are There Treatment Options Available
Many individuals benefit from who can help them overcome emotional difficulties and make positive changes in their lives. Usually, treatment incorporates:
- : This therapy focuses on challenging and changing unhelpful cognitive distortions and behaviors, improving emotional regulation, and developing coping strategies that target current problems.
- Individual therapy: One-on-one therapy sessions offer a unique and transparent space for those in recovery to express their challenges, emotions, and hopes.
- Couples therapy: When behavioral addictions break apart relationships, both romantic and family ones, couples counseling can help restore trust and rebuild relationships, which can be essential for support in long-term recovery.
- Group therapy: Speaking about challenges, emotions, and troubles in a group environment, can offer a sense of fellowship and support and provide a space to build sober relationships.
- Self-help groups: Usually, addiction is a lifelong journey self-help groups can offer aftercare support once someone ends treatment. Usually, these 12-step programs provide a sense of structure that can help with long-term sobriety.
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Praying Scripture Over Your Childs Life
Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. Shes been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.
Go To Content Restrictions
It may be a good idea to restrict some of the content on this screen, depending on what apps you plan to use.
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What Lust Is Not
Having defined what lust is, it might be helpful to define what it is not.
Sexual desire, in general, is not lust, as it is God-given .
Observing or admiring the physical attractiveness of a clothed member of the opposite sex is not lust. Scripture describes both Rachel and Esther as being beautiful of form and face , two characteristics that could both be admired without transgression .
Scripture tells us that Sarah and Rebekah were both very beautiful, so much so that both of their husbands feared being murdered by lustful men who might covet their wives . The Bible also mentions the beauty of Abigail, Bathsheba, Tamar, Abishag, Queen Vashti and Jobs daughters .
Joseph was handsome in form and appearance , which made him very desirable to the lustful wife of Potiphar. Scripture says concerning Saul, There was not a man among the people of Israel more handsome than he . David is described in the Bible as being ruddy, with beautiful eyes and a handsome appearance . His striking genes seem to have passed on to his son Absalom, of whom it is written, Now in all Israel was no one as handsome as Absalom, so highly praised from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no defect in him . He was a hunk.
Beyond all that, notice Jesus didnt say, Everyone who notices an attractive woman has already committed adultery in his heart. No, it is only when one lusts that one is committing adultery in ones heart.
Loving Your Spouse Through The Seasons Of Marriage
Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons spring , summer , fall , and winter . In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.
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Psychological And Emotional Needs
It is important to remember when working towards recovery that your addiction is routed in complex emotional and psychological causes.
You may need to alter your life in other ways to help you in your recovery. There may be certain relationships or habits in your life that jeopardize recovery.
It may also be necessary to consider how you process and express emotions and how you communicate with those around you. A professional treatment centre will help you to do this.
Get Help From Other People
This addiction thrives in secrecy and isolation you must end this secrecy to start the process of recovery. For years I made the mistake we all addicts make: trying to quit it on our own. After realizing I needed help, I started with the obvious things: self-help websites and online programs that cater to Muslims, like Purify Your Gaze. While these helped me get an understanding of my problem and gave me a guide that I could potentially follow to sober up, it ultimately did not work. Why? Because I still had to rely on myself to stay sober and follow through with the regimes they laid out. Online programs give you access to a web forum where you can chat with other addicts, seminars to listen to and the occasional call with a councilor which comes with a hefty price tag. However, at the end of the day, you are still alone and stuck with a computer and the internet these are the very things I was trying to get away from!
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Activities That Speed Up Your Reboot
Hypofrontality also reverses, but this takes time. You may speed up this process by engaging in activities such as meditation that are known to engage your frontal lobes. This will help reverse hypofrontality and thus strengthen your willpower. This will mean urges will become easier to ignore and healthy choices such as exercising and socialising will become far more appealing.
A Bad Solution To An Underlying Problem
While some are more prone to addictionbinge eating, gambling, substancesthan others due to genetics and brain chemistry, the initial driver for most folks is situationalthe addiction serving as a bad solution to another problem, such as depression, PTSD, or anxiety. Unfortunately, the addiction works: As soon as Jack clicks onto his favorite websites, he feels better. So, starts the downward spiral.
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Pleading For Sovereign Sway
Psalm 119:37 is a pleading prayer: Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things and give me life in your ways. So, the psalmist knows that his eyes are like magnets drawn to worthless things. Depersonalized female skin is a worthless thing. Now, women as persons are of infinite worth in relation to God, but lust depersonalizes skin, and turns it into a worthless thing. Its demeaning to women. Its deadly for men. So, the psalmist pleads for sovereign sway. Turn my heart, turn my will, turn my eyes. Get sovereign sway over my desires.
Why Your Kids Misbehave And What To Do About It
Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. Youve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.
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